The Day The Hamster Died (sung to the tune of American Pie)

Not that long ago,
I can still remember how the Giants used to make me grin.
And I knew if they got the chance,
That they'd put on their big-boy pants,
And build a fearsome defense once again.

But then when they were on the clock,
To everyone's collective shock,
They picked the QB from Duke.
And made it hard to not puke.

I'm not the only one who cried,
To see Josh Allen swept aside.
Makes me think the brain-trust lied,
The Day The Hamster Died.

So bye-bye said Big Blue to Eli.
Thanks for everything you gave us but we've got a new guy.
For fifteen years you helped us keep our heads high,
And the memories will not ever die.
The memories will not ever die.

Did you want Defensive Ends,
Or an O-Line built like Super Friends?
I know I did, how 'bout you?

Still no Linebacker in the 1st Round,
Or a Center who can hold his ground.
Or a Tight End who just might be Canton-bound.

Well I guess that they're in love with Jones,
And I doubt they even worked the phones.
Trade up for a CB?
That makes no sense to me.

I was a long suf-fer-ring Giants fan,
Who really hoped that DG had a plan.
But I think the shit has hit the fan,
The Day The Hamster Died.

I started singin', bye-bye said Big Blue to Eli,
Wasted many of your prime years building teams on the fly.
You've got two rings and cash that's stacked a mile high,
And the memories will not ever die.
The memories will not ever die.

Now for eight years, we've been fighting mad,
'Cause the Giants have been pretty bad.
Everybody knows it's true.

When the 1st Round draft picks crashed and burned,
And we felt like lovers who've been spurned.
What's a faithful fan to do?

So we hear about a culture change,
And watch moves made that are kind of strange.
Some yelled, some others laughed.
Still, we all looked towards the draft.

We had a dozen picks to set things straight.
Get a pass-rush that was really great.
Or a Tackle that would maul,
Instead of watching Eli fall.

And while Saquon sees eight in the box,
And opposing QB's clean our clocks,
We're told that hey, Jones really rocks!
The Day The Hamster Died.

We were singin', bye-bye said Big Blue to Eli.
Made us proud, we said it loud, especially on BBI.
Time to pass that torch, though, your ending is nigh.
But the memories will not ever die.
No, the memories will not ever die.

Helter Skelter in the April swelter,
Their war-room must resemble a fallout shelter.
All the beats prepared to strike.

And DG steps up to the mic.
That's a job he seems to like.
But the fans now wish he'd simply take a hike.

Now the mood 'round here is pretty foul.
Lots of hopes got dashed, there's cause to howl.
We all expected change,
Not the deck chairs rearranged!

As you can see, I'm really, really pissed,
With some grievances I have to list.
Just got screwed, did not get kissed,
The Day The Hamster Died.

I started singin', bye-bye said Big Blue to Eli.
It was fun but now you're done and Daniel Jones is our guy.
You took your lumps and you never asked why,
And the memories will not ever die.
The memories will not ever die.

Oh, there we were poised to strike,
With college players we all liked.
Return to glory...in the cards.

So, come on, Dave, make us proud!
Make the picks to win the crowd!
Wait, what? Is the brain-trust freaking 'tards?

Oh, and as I watched it on TV,
Not even getting up to pee,
I stared out into space.
Not believing what took place!

And as I slowly realized what was done,
I tried to find some solace, but found none.
I felt like Icarus close to the sun,
The Day The Hamster Died.

He was singin', bye-bye said Big Blue to Eli.
Don't be grievin' 'cause you're leavin', hope your spirits are high.
A true class act, no one would ever deny,
And the memories will not ever die.
The memories will not ever die.

I very rarely sing the blues.
I'm all about those happy views.
But not so much today.

I was hoping for renewal.
Faith in Eli was my fuel.
Faith that DG had it, too.

So, on this website I must rant.
Jones at 6? No...they can't!
I'd joked about that, sure.
But I'd JUST joked, nothing more.

And the men that I thought shared my vision,
Are now my targets for derision.
I wish that was a tough decision,
The Day The Hamster Died.

I hear them singin'. bye-bye we all say to Eli.
All good things must have their ending, tell Coach C we said 'hi.'
We'll put you in our Ring of Honor on high,
And the memories will not ever die.
The memories will not ever die.