No that a few days have passed and the dust has settled on this week's tragic thread (you all know the one to which I am referring), I wanted say a few things to the BBI Community.
Threads like the one that happened this week are not a laughing matter. I see folks making jokes about it. The internet community as a whole has a problem of mob bullying. Singling out a poster for ridicule. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the individual poster in question behaved well, but for sure the BBI community piled on, ridiculed and didn't let it go. We are all bonded by a common love for our football team. I would hope that we can take the high road in these situations. To some extent, I know how the target poster felt, I have been the target poster on some threads for posts I would to this day defend if I cared to. I don't think I said anything wrong. Part of the problem with the internet is that we can't see body language, intonation and various other subtle forms of communication. It leaves our posts open to interpretation at times.
I for one will not engage in a mob pile-up on a poster. Its a tragic situation. How would some of you feel if you later found out that the poster truly had psychological issues and committed suicide shortly after a tragic thread. Nothing good comes out of those threads. Now this does not mean I won't fire back at somebody that trolls me, or call bullshit on another post. But if the mob kicks in, I'm out.
I have seen numerous posts this week calling that thread an all time classic. Its not an all time classic. Its an all time embarrassment. I would like to think we are better than that.
I hope that the vast majority of posters here are mature enough to help avoid adding fuel to the fire on these tragic threads. Anybody else willing to make the same statement as I have about not ganging up and bullying posters, even when they have said something stupid. Just let it go and walk away.
I hope he doesn’t have problems, and if he does I hope he works them out. But he didn’t do himself any favors.
A tragedy is a little kid dying of cancer or a natural disaster wiping out a community.
Someone getting embarrassed on the internet might be wrong and probably bullying but it's not a tragedy.
If you think that was "tragic," you need to get out in the real world a little more.
There are far more tragic things going on than a football fan forum pile on against some fake insider who was slinging insults and demanding apologies from people who didn't owe him one whilst simultaneously cursing out the site owner.
I personally did try to take the high road several times - I even apologized to him when I had nothing to apologize for. I needled him on the your/you're thing - big fucking deal.
If you're going to stick a flag on this hill and die on it, I hope you're ready to spend the rest of your life fighting for this cause - because you'll find similar activity on.... pretty much any message board in existence.
I get the sentiment and don't even totally disagree with it completely, but - I feel this is a bit dramatic.
Let's save the word tragic for things that actually are.
It's mind boggling, especially when it's a group pile on.
There are threads that obviously seek controversy, one need not click, there are crazy ideas (my 5-0-6 rants)...the bullying doesn't come from a place of dignity.
I hope he doesn’t have problems, and if he does I hope he works them out. But he didn’t do himself any favors.
This post misses the point. I am not excusing the target poster. But I am not excusing everybody who egged it on, and piled on either.
We are responsible to ourselves. But we are also responsible to our community. This board is our community. What kind of community do we want to have?
One that regularly gangs up on a posters for perhaps not saying the wisest things. Even when sometimes those thing are misinterpreted.
Or do we want to have a community with a little more maturity.
Guys like bw, and Terps revel in engaging as contrarians, that's a different dynamic. I'm not referring to those threads.
There is no benefit to fueling the meltdown. Call it what you want, substitute any word that works for you.
Here is one to start.
https://theorganicagency.com/blog/life-death-consequences-cyber-bullying/
What do you honestly think is going to get accomplished here?
Whenever someone acts the way that poster did on a message board, they're opening themselves up to exactly what happened. He had the option to step away from it at any point. No one forced him to keep posting, no one made him do anything - he acted on his own accord.
Maybe there was something going on there, maybe there wasn't. I have no idea. None of us do. Maybe the guy was just on a bender and was hammered. Who the heck knows. He's been around here for years. He imploded and made an ass of himself, now he's gone.
I don't think this soapbox thread is going to fundamentally change anything about BBI going forward. But, that's just like... my opinion, man.
There is no benefit to fueling the meltdown. Call it what you want, substitute any word that works for you.
You used the word five separate times in your OP.
People who were badly abused as kids.
Lets say the chances that he was one of those people unable to self correct deep hard wiring is 1%.
What emotional payoff do I get from ridiculing ( and I do get off stomping on stupid at times...we all do) versus the risk of shortening his life or chances? Im far from holier than thou when it comes to the temptation to cut a poster suffering from stupid or the lack of self awareness. I just keep trying to remember to do better when I see train wrecks and loneliness. All we can do
People who were badly abused as kids.
Lets say the chances that he was one of those people unable to self correct deep hard wiring is 1%.
What emotional payoff do I get from ridiculing ( and I do get off stomping on stupid at times...we all do) versus the risk of shortening his life or chances? Im far from holier than thou when it comes to the temptation to cut a poster suffering from stupid or the lack of self awareness. I just keep trying to remember to do better when I see train wrecks and loneliness. All we can do
Thanks Bill... I agree.
I just find the use of the word bullying in this incident incorrect. Usually the bully picks on an innocent vulnerable person who has not invited the incident. I think calling him not “well behaved” is a bit of an understatement. It was people reacting to what I would call a crazed response to some debate and criticism. I think that also got backwards in this case on “who didn’t let it go”.He could have simply left at any time and the thread would have died.
I think we just saw an example of the simple human characteristic of slowing down to see a trainwreck which long precedes the internet.
And if the original thread was still up, people could plainly read that he had been given a lot of leeway before finally having had enough. Plenty tried to calmly advise him to step away and cool off. Perhaps not get so personally invested in whatever info he was trying to pass on. At the end of the day, he brought that upon himself.
Posters repeatedly offered him advice. They also recommended he delete the thread. At one point, it was so over-the-top that it appeared he was begging to be banned in order to become a martyr. (I wasn't going to give him that honor)
The mob didn't kick in until the 7 or 8 hour mark of a 12-hour meltdown. Should we have pulled the plug on that thread sooner? Probably yes.
But that performance was beyond the pale. It was not an indictment of BBI posters. If anything, I felt that many people tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and help him. He refused.
He's not the victim.
He told me personally to "drop dead" more than once.
He routinely criticized Eric as a person, a business owner, and everything in between. He called people names, he cursed at people, and he basically just handled himself terribly.
When it came up that he had a gambling issue earlier, I stayed away from that - I told him specifically that I thought it would be in poor taste to mock him for that and that I didn't agree with anyone who had. I thought that was too below the belt.
But - he continually insisted that people WERE mocking him for it when they were not. Specifically Eric. Eric did not mock him or mention that a single time; yet he continued to demand an apology for it - all whilst continuing to call him Tiny Tim, a douchebag, and a "bad guy" with bad business acumen.
It really could have been a lot worse than it was. I think most of the criticisms he was getting were pretty measured and were attacking his questionable timeline in his OP or his absolute refusal to note the difference between your/you're.
Maybe a poster here or there took it too far - but it really wasn't that bad given the amount of vitriol he was sending back the other way.
He said far worse things to me than I said to him - I never even asked for an apology or cared to receive one.
It's a message board.
He’s talking about the continual abuse once it became apparent the individual might be a bit distressed.
I followed the thread. I laughed early on. The dog piling afterwards was the issue the OP raises. It became cringeworthy when it became clear there might be some warning signs showing in the poster-in-question. I don’t necessarily agree with the word tragic and it’s exceptionally hard to see that line in the moment, but I do agree with the spirit of his message.
Worth a moment of reflection at the very least and kudos for the thread.
But most of the time I just didn't think about the other guy and how he could take it or I overreacted or misread. Sometimes badly
Its not a medium that enhances communication.
This time I saw a guy who at first provoked, got stupid and then unraveled. I have no idea why. But I saw a guy whose behavior, self interest and hysteria kept rising over two days.
I was not in it and he was not calling on me so as Pete just put it so well...its was a hard thread to fathom and a hard guy to fathom.
For me, when I can be aware in time, I am going to try to ease off when I don't get it rather than double down when the target gets easier and larger. I will fail often for I seem to see stupid in large print but that is what I am going to try. No judgement on how others read it or will read into the other end of an exchange
Remember the old game "Battleship"? when you have a barrier and guess what holes in a pegboard the other guy has the ships in spaces that are important to him and a lot of spaces he does not care about? That's the internet. I never have any idea where the other guy has stuff that's important to him.
Look what its gotten us?
Again, could I have taken even higher road? Probably. But the guy was a douchebag.
I don't know people took him and it so seriously. To me he was good for a laugh. If BBI didn't let him provoke them it would have been nothing. He became a troll in the end, and BBI fed the troll.
Better to ignore him or anyone who has a melt down like that.
FMiC alluded to it innocently and then let it go as soon as he realized it. Basically everyone else was leaving it alone. I think maybe one or two people passed by and threw a little gas on that fire, but that was really it.
He was a douchebag. The guy should be somewhat responsible for the diarrhea he posted here for 15 hours in a row rather than painted as some martyr or tragic figure here. Maybe something was wrong with him, maybe something wasn't - but the majority of the criticism was regarding the bad info he had passed along or his shitty grammar.
That's hardly the type of "bullying" that drives people to suicide.
I just think this thread is way too dramatic. I get the overall sentiment. And I think I even acted somewhat appropriately all things considered - I really wasn't that aggressive or combative. I was super measured and relaxed in most of my responses. I wasn't even vulgar towards him.
I told him to sleep on it and maybe reevaluate it all the next day and see if he's cooled down, etc.
Even gidie addressed him in a totally non-combative way initially and jt went right after him and started insulting him, too.
He put all this shit on himself. Absolutely not the other way around.
The vast majority of posters were trying to exercise self control.
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I think mcl and Bill2 are saying we as posters could have exercised better self control and just left the thread or choose to not participate. I think that is all they are trying to communicate.
The vast majority of posters were trying to exercise self control.
Perhaps, but even a better way would be to just let it die.
I have my sarcastic comments in the thread as well.
Posters repeatedly offered him advice. They also recommended he delete the thread. At one point, it was so over-the-top that it appeared he was begging to be banned in order to become a martyr. (I wasn't going to give him that honor)
The mob didn't kick in until the 7 or 8 hour mark of a 12-hour meltdown. Should we have pulled the plug on that thread sooner? Probably yes.
But that performance was beyond the pale. It was not an indictment of BBI posters. If anything, I felt that many people tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and help him. He refused.
I'm not disagreeing with you with regards to the individual poster. I don't know what happened with him. Never seen him act like that before. Maybe he lost his job, maybe he was on a bender and won't remember a thing, maybe he lost a lot of money, or a lost a family member and it sent him into a tailspin. I'm not sure it matters, something was wrong.
But as a community we fed that 12 hour meltdown, unnecessarily. I don't think anybody benefited from it. Quoting you: "He was outed as a fraud".
Nothing to see here, move along.
And I don't want to single out any single poster on that thread. These threads have happened enough that most of us are guilty of it at one time or another. I can admit in the early days of BBI (before we had logins), I remember participating in one, don't remember who it was now... But I decided afterwards it was wrong.
Eric, I understand your particular anger, he attacked you the most. Had it been just between the 2 of you, that's a different dynamic. It gets problematic when everybody piles on. Group dynamics is different than 1v1. From a psychological standpoint, the group thing makes it harder for certain people to back down. It becomes a downward spiral.
Even now on this thread, I am feeling reluctant to continue posting. However, since you are the site owner and the primary target of the melting down individual, I felt that you deserved the respect of this response.
Everybody is free to choose their own path. As a community, I thought it would be good for a bit of self reflection. I will leave the thread up, but I have said my piece. I'm out.
Look what its gotten us?
An Anti-Bullying reminder probably isn't a bad idea for a message board and it also sounds like someone played with fire. A nice refresher course on two lessons everyone should learn at a younger age.
Cheers!
Some people might be fine ignoring a crying child that's acting out. Let him tire himself out? Some people won't abide by that. I'm on their side
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Shortly after I joined I also agreed, applauded and participated in efforts to drive out the stupid.
Look what its gotten us?
i realize that in the end it is just to dream the impossible dream and to fight the unbeatable foe. But it brings short term satisfaction.
To right the unrightable wrong
His insults actually didn't bother me (other than the one where he accused me of lying... that pissed me off). As I said in that thread, I haven't laughed so much due to one thread since Bavaro's old garage party thread.
The whole thing seemed surreal. As I said the next day, when I woke up, I thought it was some weird dream.
Some people might be fine ignoring a crying child that's acting out. Let him tire himself out? Some people won't abide by that. I'm on their side
Continued behavior that he was exhibiting would get him banned. He wouldn't be roaming the MB insulting everyone when he wanted.
So keeping the idea of "community" in mind, I'd be willing to bet a lot of people here feel (and likely felt) that same way. For me, that goes especially in this case considering I was not in agreement with how the OP was handling the whole thing.
That's not to say things couldn't have been handled differently, and it doesn't mean Eric should be automatically exempt from criticism... But if you're going to call out the boss, then be prepared to hear from the rest of the employees (please give me a break on this awful analogy).
Nice Money shot.
It wasn't an isolated incident, either. The mob mentality is pretty brutal around here quite often.
It's mind boggling, especially when it's a group pile on.
There are threads that obviously seek controversy, one need not click, there are crazy ideas (my 5-0-6 rants)...the bullying doesn't come from a place of dignity.
You nailed it and some people need to see that when they do this it doesn't shine a positive light on themselves.
His insults actually didn't bother me (other than the one where he accused me of lying... that pissed me off). As I said in that thread, I haven't laughed so much due to one thread since Bavaro's old garage party thread.
The whole thing seemed surreal. As I said the next day, when I woke up, I thought it was some weird dream.
I missed the whole damn thread, and that kind of behavior is inexcusable.
And people have valid points about what really constitutes a tragedy, but the bigger point here is that you can let a guy just stew in his own stupid juices without further stirring the pot. I'll defend myself 100% if someone comes at me, the gloves will come off. But piling on when there's no reason to even get involved is really unnecessary even if it can be justified, and most of the time does this place a disservice.
I agree that many people pile on when they see an opening.
I agree with your opening post and share your sentiments.
Tragedy - ( New Window )
I originally began by attempting rational discussion using facts, logic, appeals to ethics, truth, etc. Met by complete dismissal of easily checked facts, derision, name calling, threats, I soon devolved into similar behavior rather than just recognizing the futility of further engagement. I began to ridicule them with no hope of persuasion, but somehow took satisfaction in at least exposing their B.S.
When I later re-read some of my posts, I didn't recognize myself and wasn't particularly fond of that person. To me, that thread in question appears as a microcosm of our times, human nature, and the nature of the faceless internet.
Should we just have abandoned the thread and left it to an irrational i
unbalanced individual sprewing slanderous statements with no response? Probably the noble wise thing to do but not the typical human response to attacks. Should BBI thread simply be left to the
unbalanced individuals insulting the site owner and others?
I think that you are making a case for simply banning posters which would be an easy solution. Personally I am against banning except for extreme circumstance and would rather challenge a speaker than silence them. I am also not big on deleting threads and in this case I understand why it was not done by the moderators.
You probably have a point about starting all these follow up threads and we should move on but there is a natural human reaction to discuss things of interest after they have been concluded.
There was a lot of restraint showed to a poster that had a lot of stamina to keep pushing forward that he deserved an apology - to the point that he hurled insult after insult to Eric, arc and others.
Like you said - many pleaded with him to step back and reconsider what was going on. But one can't underestimate the sheer effort to keep that thread alive that day. A poster was literally engaged for 12+ hours on that thread.
And even at the end - even though the act had worn thin, most posters still kept the comments above board. Eris showed the most humor and restraint I've seen from him. And he had some classic one-liners - that weren't even attacks on the guy who started the thread.
There could have been a lot of piling on
Should we just have abandoned the thread and left it to an irrational i
unbalanced individual sprewing slanderous statements with no response? Probably the noble wise thing to do but not the typical human response to attacks. Should BBI thread simply be left to the
unbalanced individuals insulting the site owner and others?
I think that you are making a case for simply banning posters which would be an easy solution. Personally I am against banning except for extreme circumstance and would rather challenge a speaker than silence them. I am also not big on deleting threads and in this case I understand why it was not done by the moderators.
You probably have a point about starting all these follow up threads and we should move on but there is a natural human reaction to discuss things of interest after they have been concluded.
Well, as you said, I didn't see the thread, so I really can't judge it. My comment was more about understanding how its possible for decent people to act out of character in this venue as I am guilty of it myself. I also have always been against banning posters … except maybe for threats of violence. Hated seeing MiS go and several others. I have no good opinions on how to make everyone play nice, and perhaps that shouldn't be the goal. But the variety of personas, make it interesting and what experienced here isn't unique to this site. In fact, probably our shared interest keeps it from going off the rails as much as other social media
Still, you had guys enabling him and chastising those who were resisting him as "the reason asshats don't post here anymore." I guess this final thread put an end to that.
2) He was the aggressor. He was the one name calling and bullying the owner of the site.
3) He continued to produce the very same behavior that led to his ridicule. For days!
That is the least sorry I've ever felt for a poster ever. This wasn't some guy coming here and then being chastised for his looks, intelligence, or a disability... aka things out of his control. He was a willing and aggressive participant--the catalyst--in a thread he started with fake information.
Tolerance implies patience and gentleness with people who are less than perfect, even when they ask for attention.
It's still bullying , even when they "deserve it".
Because we all "deserve it"
Schools struggle with bullying right now because the card is constantly played. We just had a couple situations where bullying didn't apply, yet was alleged. One was when a student didn't turn in their homework and the teacher lectured the entire class about how when you have a week to do an assignment and don't finish it is procrastination and unacceptable. The other was a lacrosse player was benched in the middle of the game for insubordination and his parents filed a complaint because other players were bullying him.
Turns out several players yelled at him to get his head out of his ass.
There is something to the idea that people who seek an odd corner Luke thus to find a voice and validation might already be damaged, and here comes fatty with his bully cudgel.
Shameless bastard.
You can crusade for the little guy if you wish, but not validating a shitty opinion isn't bullying.
There is something to the idea that people who seek an odd corner Luke thus to find a voice and validation might already be damaged, and here comes fatty with his bully cudgel.
Shameless bastard.
So, what does this critical and assumptive post qualify as?
Let me guess; you're just a "voice of reason" sharing your unbiased observations (whilst name-calling and flexing your armchair psychology muscle, of course...) ?
But yes, I'm sure he's just some ruthless poster constantly knocking down 12 year olds testing out pet theories. Those poor kids.
Tolerance implies patience and gentleness with people who are less than perfect, even when they ask for attention.
It's still bullying , even when they "deserve it".
Because we all "deserve it"
But we only have to be tolerant to those that share are viewpoint right? Cause F--k everyone else.
Bingo. Anything that anyone can perceive as critical or oppositional in nature now gets tagged as "bullying".
I try to stay away from people whose behavior is consistently inconsistent with their own self interests. Especially if they are blind to reason or self interest for awhile.
Something else is going on and im not smart enough to figure it out.
So my obligation is only to do no further harm blundering around when I don't know wtf they want or need.
Who has brain cells or time to devote to more chaos? Learning nothing and wasting time and not earning and not producing and not healing is net energy lost to stupid
In general, Martin Buber had a note worth remembering when I can remember it in time: Everybody else's cry of anger is a some kind of cry of pain.
Another kid responded - "let him play with the six year olds then, if he wants to play with the big kids he needs to learn the big kids rules".
I felt compassion for the little kid. After all, he was little and what did it matter if we let him kick a "home run".
But I learned that day that sometimes that just ruins the game for all the other kids. Every time that six year old wanted to come up the game was interrupted. Soon his other little friends also wanted to play. Before long it was late and we couldn't play or finish the game.
BBI is a place treasured because of the great minds that contribute. It's best when we have wiser minds doing most of the posting and the rest of us reading. Compassion has its place, but so does keeping the site intelligent enough to be of interest to everyone else.
(And a reminder to myself that I should post a lot less than I do and read a lot more!)
(And a reminder to myself that I should post a lot less than I do and read a lot more!)
You and me both. Sometimes when my schedule frees up I start posting a bunch. Sooner or later brighter minds speak up and tell me why I'm wrong about something, which is a great reminder to me that my contributions are greatly outweighed by those of quality posters here.
I think we can do both things - but sometimes a poster comes along and insists on posting the same stuff over and over again. It gets old, and worse yet, sometimes it starts getting repeated as fact. Brighter minds try to intervene and correct the thinking but sooner or later, a little harshness in criticism is the best remedy.
as for the claims of 'I repeatedly told him to calm down, but he only got angrier and angrier', well, after the first time or two and seeing the result, maybe one would figure out that it wasn't a very good approach since it was so counter productive. It becomes a case of taunting, no matter how well intentioned, and I'm of the opinion that much, if not most, of it was not well intentioned.
He's not the victim.
True.... plus HE was the one who was throwing around insults.
Hi Steve, I'm not sure if your reply was meant for my post above about deciding to be silent. For any particular thread heading down that same path, choosing the to disengage wouldn't be shunning. Now, if that poster is meant with the same silence on other posts that have nothing to do with their past thread then, yes I see your point.
Personally, I feel it's right to be respectful and polite as much as possible, even if the other chooses to use insults. I am not a big fan of "taking the gloves off" so to speak. I believe there are better ways to handle a hostile situation in regards to a message board discussion. In the past when I have chose to engage with an individual in an insulting manner it was typically because I was allowing my self pride to take control of my actions. My thoughts were a lot of times insulting, but me choosing to allow the thoughts to come out as visual words were fueled by my pride not wanting them to "best" me.
Now this is my personality, and the way I prefer to handle things. What I have said above isn't meant to be a solution for others. I also don't handle every situation perfectly in regards to my standards or beliefs.
I guess "at the end of the day" (Hi Antrel) I have no idea where people are in life, or what is going on in their life or what has happened to them. I also don't have the ability to change anyone's view on life, and I shouldn't be able to. I have only learned a very tiny amount in life, that certainly disqualifies me as a life expert. One thing I have learned is that people tend to look for acceptance, compassion, and understanding. But, to the point, if I attempt to help the person see why others are coming at them in a genuine way and they choose to ignore then to me the best way to handle the situation is to disengage, at least for that subject, not for future unrelated subjects.
It's 🆒
Weeks? It was more than a year. He was pulling the same garbage last year leading up to the draft too, except that his "predictions" (which were really more just preferences that the Giants remain loyal to Eli at all cost) didn't blow up in his face last year, so he got to keep the asshat title that he clearly craved.
This year that changed - not only did the Giants not abide by his personal wishes for Eli when they selected Jones at #6, it also represented a major ding against his asshat cred (in his own perception at least, which made him extra defensive).
That's what triggered that thread and the meltdown that followed, IMO. He was so emotionally invested in not only being seen as an asshat here, but also in the Giants believing in Eli in perpetuity, that when both of those two things evaporated simultaneously, he seemed genuinely distraught.
I feel bad about a lot of the things I posted in that thread - I can't claim innocence here because I felt like he was having a meltdown and I kept poking the bear. I'm not proud of that despite the fact that I didn't think there was anything wrong with pointing out that he was not nearly the credible source that so many believed he was.
If he was in fact experiencing some sort of emotional breakdown, I do hope he gets whatever help he needs.
In my OP I stated that I would not participate in the mob culture of ganging up on some posters. I also asked who else was willing to say the same.
I want to make it clear that the behavior of the poster who was ganged up on is in no way acceptable or easily forgiven. It was reprehensible. He has been here a long time and never behaved that way before. At the end of the day it doesn't really matter, because what matters is that each of us should examine our own behavior and decide if that behavior is that behavior a point or pride or not? How are others perceiving that behavior and is that perception desirable? What are the impacts of that behavior, and are those impacts desirable?
I am not forcing anybody to change their behavior. I am not pointing a finger at anybody, passing judgement, being presumptuous, or as one poster said being a pussy.
It is about taking responsibility for myself, my actions, and working (emphasis on the working) to be a better version of myself than I was the day before. And doing that every day of my life. When I started this thread, I knew that I would get flamed by some. And I make this post knowing that I will get flamed again. Taking responsibility for myself is not presumptuous, it is not passing judgement, it is not preachy. That said, I have the courage of my convictions, to speak up for what I believe in. I leave it to individuals to decide for themselves if they agree or not. But speaking up when you know that some will excoriate you for doing so, is the exact opposite of being a pussy.
And let me be clear on this, it’s not about just BBI. BBI is just a microcosm of the rest of Society. Personal responsibility, honor, and real service to making our society better has never been at a lower point than it is now. The evidence is everywhere. We have a mass shooting once a week, including the one that happened yesterday. Road rage violence. Out of control corporate and personal greed. We have divisive politics threatening our democracy. Suicide rates are at all-time highs, especially amongst children. Hate crimes on the rise. Nuclear proliferation and climate change that present us with serious existential threats. We didn't just suddenly arrive here. As a Society, bit by bit, we have allowed our souls to be eaten, our honor to be eroded, and our personal responsibility abdicated. We all want to get ahead and have a better life, and I am by no mean saying it should not be that way, but it should come with responsibility.
You can say it’s not a big deal it’s just fan message board for a football team. But if I cannot take responsibility for the way I behave here, how is that I can say that I am taking responsibility anywhere else. Am I spending time with my son making sure he is happy, and noticing any changes? Am I teaching him the right values? Am I setting the right examples? Am I doing my best I can to leave him a world and society in which he can thrive when it’s his turn? As a parent, that I must take these responsibilities seriously. I need to set the right example for my son. I need to face him and say that not only am I not participate in the continued erosion of our Earth and society, but that I tried to make it a bit better. As a Society, how far do we need to sink before we start taking responsibility, when does it stop?
There is the aspect of BBI being a rough place, post at your own risk, and in that way, it is self-policing. I even said in my Op that if somebody trolls me, I will fire back, if somebody posts stupid, I will call bullshit. And I encourage that kind of self-policing, otherwise this place will get overwhelmed with stupid, it will lose part of the fun of the hard debate, and be plain boring. However, in this case I agree with fkap, I first opened that thread after about 2 hours. In fact, I saw when it was first created, but I knew just from the title what was going to happen. And the thread itself was exactly as I expected, it was a clear meltdown pretty much from the get go, the thread starter was getting lots of “help”, over, and over, and over again. Even when it was clear that the poster was not reacting well to the “help”, there was no shortage of more “help”. As Bill2 said, I knew I wasn’t in a position to know what the underlying issue was with the poster, and I was not in a position to provide real help. There was simply no benefit to be had by me spending time and posting on the thread.
To tie all this together with the sad and tragic news from Colorado, every time we participate in the disaffection of another human being, we inch a little bit closer to the next Columbine, Sandy Hook, or Parkland. Every time we abdicate responsibility, we allow another nibble on our collective soul, and help create an environment that enables the hate, enables loneliness, enables the corruption, enables the bullies, enables the anger, etc. Will my taking responsibility for my actions on BBI matter in Society as a whole. Probably not. You can criticize me for using the word tragic as a euphemism, but, the point is the little things in life matter, doing lots of little things right eventually adds up to something much bigger, doing them wrong eventually leads to bad results, sometimes tragic results.
I will not participate in a mob culture of hanging up on people. However, again as I and others have said I do not consider that thread a mob attack. Being a chat forum, I will post when I feel like posting saying what I want to say (which is not necessarily part of a mob because I am part of the majority opinion). If I want to try to “help” someone I disagree with I will do so without worrying about those who are on a higher moral plain than me disagreeing and passing judgment.
In my OP I stated that I would not participate in the mob culture of ganging up on some posters. I also asked who else was willing to say the same.
I'm with you. Once the crowd moves in I back away.
That wasn't always the case. In my early years of message boarding I would seek out stupid posts from stupid posters to shred them apart.
I am still a wise ass from time to time but for the most part I keep it focused on the guys who can handle it.
There should be a personal responsibility to deliver material that is worth contributing. There should be a personal responsibility to not create multiple usernames with the intention of trolling a board until banned and then repeat. Those two things alone would elevate the level of discourse
IMO, the tie to Colorado here is misguided. That shooter was a bully. He would whisper into student's ears that he was going to start shooting when pencils hit the floor and then throw pencils on the floor to scare them. He wasn't bullied to the point of snapping or disaffected by other's rebuke. Same with the shooter in Charlotte.
One can be reflective in the wake of tragic events, but let's not pretend that the actions on a thread where a poster self-destructed is a microcosm of anything.
No amount of these threads will ever change that.
No amount of these threads will ever change that.
One could say that goes for any message board. Footles.
Quote:
that being a big shot on BBI or any other site that people frequent is a very big deal to some people. It's curious but it's reality.
No amount of these threads will ever change that.
One could say that goes for any message board. Footles.
May '19. Interesting choice to weigh in on this thread.