Archived Thread

NFT: Appropriate wedding gift question

pjcas18 : 5/16/2019 6:16 pm

cousin I never met before, getting married in a state I'd have to fly to, and my kids aren't invited (just my wife and I) = wedding I'm not going to.

What is the appropriate gift?

cash is always my preference so $150? Is that cheap?

Some appliance off the registry?

jokes, insults, post them all, hopefully I get a reasonable suggestion sprinkled in...

Something off the registry or cash would be fine

Jim in Fairfax : 5/16/2019 7:03 pm : link

Amount is your call. $150 seems more than generous to me for someone you�ve never met. You kind of have guage that off your own means and what the typical expectation is in your family.

Frankly, not knowing them and not attending I don�t think obligates you at all. Of course your relationship with their parents etc is also a factor there.

I'd even say $100 is fine for the disinvite

jcn56 : 5/16/2019 7:11 pm : link

I mean you're not really invited to go, more like invited to send a gift.

Even if you plan on sending cash

Milton : 5/16/2019 7:21 pm : link

You should take a look at the registry. It may hint at what would be the proper $ range for you to consider. And there's always the chance that something in the registry will feel like just the right gift to send this cousin you've never met.

Yeah, definitely invited for the gift

pjcas18 : 5/16/2019 7:21 pm : link

father of one of the ones getting married is my first cousin who I see about once every 5 years (at weddings or funerals).

So, not close.

but I'm going to send something.

thanks for the replies.

Normally i'd say just decline

UConn4523 : 5/16/2019 7:32 pm : link

but distant family you can just throw a bone to. I wouldn't bother with more than $100 for someone i've never met. And like you said, you were only invited for the gift anyway. Give them something small and be done with it.

What state?

steve in ky : 5/16/2019 7:52 pm : link

When I moved away from NY I noticed a dramatic drop in amounts people gave for cash gifts for weddings.

I'm guessing in many states $150 is more than they would expect under the circumstances you described.

Is a gift even necessary in this case?

Giants Fan in Steelers Land : 5/16/2019 7:59 pm : link

You aren�t going so you won�t be an expense to them. 150 seems overly generous. Unless there would be some major blowback from the rest of the family I wouldn�t send a gift. Otherwise I would get the cheapest item on their registry.

When I got married I wouldn�t have thought twice about someone who declined the invite not sending any gift. Especially if I never met them.

I think $100 is more than generous

Matt M. : 5/16/2019 8:30 pm : link

given the circumstances. But, the suggestion to check out the registry to at least gauge the situation is a good one.

The invite was probably out of respect

RickJames : 5/17/2019 6:38 am : link

Honestly, I get too wrapped up in these decisions.

$150 should be fine. $100 would be ok, but, my opinion is $150 would be more appropriate. I may actually simply respectively decline rather than sending $100. It depends on your Aunt and Uncle. Were you close with them? Was your Mom or Dad close to them?

I way over analyze these situations. $150 or a simple decline

Used appliance.

x meadowlander : 5/17/2019 6:53 am : link

Gift wrap, card from Tony and Violet.

Had my wife and I fooled for weeks.