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NFT: What can I expect with a vasectomy?

DC Gmen Fan : 6/12/2019 6:13 pm
asking for a friend.
A puff of smoke  
Daniel in Kentucky : 6/12/2019 6:16 pm : link
and cold sore ball sack from your ice packs.
The anticipation is soooo much worse than the procedure.  
RodneyHamp : 6/12/2019 6:18 pm : link
There will be bruising for a week or 2, then back to normal. Had it done about a month ago. Really not bad at all.
If you allow time (3 days) and ice area...  
George from PA : 6/12/2019 6:18 pm : link
Its a nothing burger.

Procedure, itself was so quick...that I did not think it was done.
Netflix  
Les in TO : 6/12/2019 6:18 pm : link
And chill for a couple of days after
When  
Eli owns all : 6/12/2019 6:19 pm : link
Iím done having kids I will make my appointment Wednesday opening week of March madness.
Unless of course they botch it  
pjcas18 : 6/12/2019 6:19 pm : link
like they did to Kramer

RE: Unless of course they botch it  
ChaChing : 6/12/2019 6:24 pm : link
In comment 14470667 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
like they did to Kramer

"I'm even more potent now"
Just do the pull-out method  
Eli2020 : 6/12/2019 6:24 pm : link
Costs a lot less than a vasectomy and condoms and is a hell of a lot more fun.
Three words  
English Alaister : 6/12/2019 6:31 pm : link
Chronic. Scrotal. Pain.

For the unlucky 2%.

As three word put offs go its quite a good one.
DO EXACTLY AS TOLD.  
rnargi : 6/12/2019 6:35 pm : link
So absolutely NOTHING but stay off your feet, ice your sack, and DO NOTHING ELSE for three days minimum. NO STAIRS FOR ANY REASON OTHER THAN TO ESCAPE IMMINENT DEATH.
My brother had it done  
Saos1n : 6/12/2019 6:36 pm : link
Stated afterwards it felt like getting kicked in the nuts but the feeling didnít leave for days
Sore balls.  
Giant John : 6/12/2019 6:43 pm : link
Sorry
Focus...  
Brown_Hornet : 6/12/2019 6:51 pm : link
... On the fact that there will be a nurse lathering up your balls and shaving them for you.

The rest is cake.

You're welcome.
Easier than a visit to the dentist  
TJ : 6/12/2019 7:02 pm : link
A partner who no longer needs to worry about the hassle of birth control might show their appreciation when you are feeling better.

Ask the doc to throw in some enhancement surgery for a package price!
RE: If you allow time (3 days) and ice area...  
eric2425ny : 6/12/2019 7:04 pm : link
In comment 14470663 George from PA said:
Quote:
Its a nothing burger.

Procedure, itself was so quick...that I did not think it was done.


This, procedure doesnít hurt at all and is quick. Definitely ice as much as they tell you and stay resting for like two days. I actually used bags of frozen peas wrapped in a light towel instead of ice, more comfortable. It took about 2 weeks before I felt 100%, but I wasnít in a lot of pain after day 3 or 4.
Not really a big deal. Easy surgery.  
MBavaro : 6/12/2019 7:07 pm : link
You're a little sore afterwards, and the lack of activity afterwards is really just to keep from everything swelling.

HOWEVER, the first time you bust a nut after the surgery, it's going to feel REALLY WEIRD. At least that was my experience.
RE: When  
Giantology : 6/12/2019 7:07 pm : link
In comment 14470666 Eli owns all said:
Quote:
Iím done having kids I will make my appointment Wednesday opening week of March madness.


Genius. Iím a very long way from this but stealing this move if it is necessary
.  
Stan in LA : 6/12/2019 7:14 pm : link
Something Iíll never know....  
trueblueinpw : 6/12/2019 7:20 pm : link
I need a Xanax to get a filling at the dentist. No way Iíd ever let anyone near my sack with a scalpel. But good for you man, the planetís way overcrowded.
RE: RE: When  
MBavaro : 6/12/2019 7:30 pm : link
In comment 14470682 Giantology said:
Quote:
In comment 14470666 Eli owns all said:


Quote:


Iím done having kids I will make my appointment Wednesday opening week of March madness.



Genius. Iím a very long way from this but stealing this move if it is necessary


Better book it more than a year in advance.
most vasectomy's are done right before March Madness  
Jints in Carolina : 6/12/2019 7:50 pm : link
.
Really no big deal.  
johnnyb : 6/12/2019 8:03 pm : link
I had mine done in 2000, so I am sure the procedure has gotten better. Quick visit to the doctor- 45 minutes was all it took.

Ice packs for a few hours and I was shoveling snow that evening.

You can expect no more children!
RE: Focus...  
Diver_Down : 6/12/2019 8:06 pm : link
In comment 14470677 Brown_Hornet said:
Quote:
... On the fact that there will be a nurse lathering up your balls and shaving them for you.

The rest is cake.

You're welcome.


Pro-Tip: Have some courtesy and trim your hirsute balls beforehand. The nurse doesn't want to revisit the shaggy 70's.
Alot of regret after it's done is my guess.  
Dave in Hoboken : 6/12/2019 8:12 pm : link
.
Future kids look different.  
BigBlue in Keys : 6/12/2019 8:45 pm : link
.
Once  
Ike#88 : 6/12/2019 9:21 pm : link
the nurse tapes your Johnson to your belly it is go time!
I have mine scheduled for next Friday  
yankeeslover : 6/12/2019 9:29 pm : link
Odd thing though. My doctor puts his patients under. I'm not sure if it's a full blown anesthesia or the twilight one, but he prefers to put his patients to sleep. So I guess I will not be aware of what they do.
Valium for the procedure  
GerryL : 6/12/2019 9:53 pm : link
* Some minor soreness
* Rest for 3 days
* You will need to provide one or more "samples" to make sure it worked. It takes a while to get all the swimmers through the system, so I was told to be "active" quite a lot before providing the samples, post recovery.
* The peace of mind afterwards. Everything is a lot more fun when you don't need to worry.
The..  
FatMan in Charlotte : 6/12/2019 10:03 pm : link
worst is the smell of burning flesh. You won't forget that odor for many years.

The recovery isn't that bad. I got it done on a Friday, spent that afternoon and night watching sports on the couch icing as much as I could, and did the same Saturday and Sunday.

Monday I went to work and played in a baseball game that night. I was playing 2B and made a few plays in the field and had a couple of hits. Not even really any soreness.
It changes the color  
fivehead : 6/12/2019 10:03 pm : link
of your next baby.
Mine was one of the best weekends I had post kids  
Steve L : 6/12/2019 10:18 pm : link
Wife took me home and went to get our then three year old twins (2003 or so) She came back with them, a sheet pizza, two dozen wings, case of beer, a couple war movies and some new video games and announced she was taking the kids to her familyís cottage for the weekend. I was fully stocked and just enjoyed my weekend.
A nurse shaving your balls  
PatersonPlank : 6/12/2019 10:25 pm : link
and a cold bag of frozen peas on the balls afterwards.

Depending on how cute the nurse is will make a difference
RE: RE: Focus...  
Brown_Hornet : 6/12/2019 10:56 pm : link
In comment 14470697 Diver_Down said:
Quote:
In comment 14470677 Brown_Hornet said:


Quote:


... On the fact that there will be a nurse lathering up your balls and shaving them for you.

The rest is cake.

You're welcome.



Pro-Tip: Have some courtesy and trim your hirsute balls beforehand. The nurse doesn't want to revisit the shaggy 70's.

No way, you're giving away the only good part.

Grow that ish out!
No scalpel!  
RodneyHamp : 6/12/2019 11:13 pm : link
10 - 15 minutes on the table. Super quick and easy.
There are perks.  
Crispino : 6/12/2019 11:16 pm : link
You have to fire the gun like 15 times after before you can take your sample back to the doctor to be tested. Carte blanche.
RE: I have mine scheduled for next Friday  
eric2425ny : 6/12/2019 11:17 pm : link
In comment 14470753 yankeeslover said:
Quote:
Odd thing though. My doctor puts his patients under. I'm not sure if it's a full blown anesthesia or the twilight one, but he prefers to put his patients to sleep. So I guess I will not be aware of what they do.


That is odd in my opinion. I think most docs use a local anesthetic, it is not a painful procedure at all. My doctor is apparently the ďbestĒ in Detroit, heís in his 70ís. He was like alright man, letís get this done. Mind if I put on Apple Music while I do this? Nothing like having someone operating on your sack while listening to Ed Sheehan and Michael Buble.
There isnít a  
Pete in MD : 6/13/2019 12:29 am : link
vas deferens when comparing before to after.
I got put under. No big deal.  
Karl Hungus : 6/13/2019 6:30 am : link
Just make sure your insurance isn't going to try to nail you for an unnecessary $1600 anesthesiology charge like mine did.

the worst part of the whole experience was a month later when I had to deliver a cup of my own semen to the doctor's office. That's kind of an awkward feeling.
RE: It changes the color  
Diver_Down : 6/13/2019 6:56 am : link
In comment 14470780 fivehead said:
Quote:
of your next baby.


I spit out my coffee.
Itís really not that bad  
mattlawson : 6/13/2019 7:10 am : link
Donít do anything physical for a couple days and youíll be fine
The funniest moment  
GIANTS128 : 6/13/2019 7:18 am : link
Is dropping off the "sample" 2 weeks later. Something about handing some random person your just squeezed juice doesnt feel right
RE: Just do the pull-out method  
jvm52106 : 6/13/2019 8:30 am : link
In comment 14470670 Eli2020 said:
Quote:
Costs a lot less than a vasectomy and condoms and is a hell of a lot more fun.


I would 100% disagree... That fucking method ending up being 3 hours, started to really hurt, ended up havinga pain killing shot injected, hit a nerve and made my left just drop.. After all that bullshit, went back and found it failed. Had to have a second vasectomy, this time in the hospital...
first time you yank it  
cjac : 6/13/2019 8:31 am : link
afterwards, its gonna look like a malibu bay breeze
RE: RE: Just do the pull-out method  
jvm52106 : 6/13/2019 8:31 am : link
In comment 14470942 jvm52106 said:
Quote:
In comment 14470670 Eli2020 said:


Quote:


Costs a lot less than a vasectomy and condoms and is a hell of a lot more fun.



I would 100% disagree... That fucking method ending up being 3 hours, started to really hurt, ended up havinga pain killing shot injected, hit a nerve and made my left just drop.. After all that bullshit, went back and found it failed. Had to have a second vasectomy, this time in the hospital...


Left foot drop
At first I was thinking  
fkap : 6/13/2019 8:55 am : link
the pull out method was aka the porn star method (withdrawal), which seems to me would not be fun, and would be a good way to be called Daddy.

According to the guy who did mine, soreness is largely dependent on how easy it is to grab the vas deferens. Not all of them are convenient to grab.

That, and don't be stupid about resting. Not everyone needs the same amount, but better to err on the side of caution.

It amazes me how many guys are afraid to get one. They can't all have an aversion to needles and scalpels.
There is nothing quite like the feeling,,,  
x meadowlander : 6/13/2019 9:15 am : link
...of cold, local anesthetic liquid entering your ballsacks.

Seriously though - the only long terms effects I have are occasional itchiness at the scar sites.

Never having to use birth control again? +100
take it easy after  
Gordo : 6/13/2019 9:17 am : link
thats the biggest piece of advice i can give. You will feel ok, my dad stacked a cord of wood the day after and he was carrying grapefruits for week because of it.

My procedure was done by a Dr called Dr Stopp he was kind of a legend around here. He did my fathers and mine
I was worried about getting an erection...  
x meadowlander : 6/13/2019 9:22 am : link
...in a room with a couple of nurses and doc sticking me with pointy things in the balls, wasn't kinky, but I know full well my penis is NOT obedient and that would've been embarrassing. It didn't happen though.

Anyone else get that?

One time, I had a little lump, so I went for a testicular ultrasound. They put me in a warm, dimly lit room, on my back and the tech is a beautiful 20'something. WTF? 90% of the female medical professionals I deal with aren't attractive, but great, here we go. She uses WARMED LUBE. This was a challenge. Think of anything completely un-sexual. Defiinitely dangerous waters. Worse? She's unsure of something she's seeing so she goes to get her supervisor - EQUALLY attractive young lady. Now I'm Gallahad in Castle Anthrax.

Somehow I held it together, but I felt like I was being tested. Warmed lube, WTF?
Bring something supportive  
ChuckT in NJ : 6/13/2019 10:13 am : link
Jock strap or workout/performance underwear. Doctor put jock strap on me before i left the office.Makes a huge difference
Overall it's not a big deal but, a word of warning.  
Heisenberg : 6/13/2019 10:17 am : link
When I got mine, the doctor said not to pick up anything heavier than a Sunday Paper. Well, my son was 18 months old at the time and wanted me to pick him up. Couldn't say no, so I did. Felt a twinge, no big deal. Until my nuts swelled up. Lots of ice after that, including surreptitiously icing my nuts at work in my cube.

So try not to pick up anything heavy for a bit.
.  
GiantsLaw : 6/13/2019 2:48 pm : link
LAUNCELOT: We were in the nick of time, you were in great peril.

GALAHAD: I don't think I was.

LAUNCELOT: Yes you were, you were in terrible peril.

GALAHAD: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.

LAUNCELOT: No, it's too perilous.

GALAHAD: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can

LAUNCELOT: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!

GALAHAD: Well, let me have just a little bit of peril?

LAUNCELOT: No, it's unhealthy.

GALAHAD: Bet you're gay!

LAUNCELOT: No, I'm not.
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