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NFT: What do you say?

Dan in the Springs : 7/2/2019 9:06 am
She: Have a great idea I'm really excited about (goes into detail). What do you think.

He: Not so sure it's a great idea. I wouldn't do that.

& lt;later that same day& gt;

She: I really want to do my idea.

He: Then do it, but it's not a good idea.

& lt;that night& gt;

She: I just think it's a great idea. Why don't you think I should do this?

He: {explains why logically it's a bad idea and won't work.

& lt;next morning& gt;

She: I don't want you to be upset, but I think I'm going to do that idea.

He: Fine. Do what you want - I wouldn't, but whatever.

& lt;a few days later, after idea was implemented and failed& gt;

She: I'm so upset, this was such a bad idea. I feel so stupid. (tears of regret)

He: _______________________


P.S. Asking for a friend
Say:  
mattnyg05 : 7/2/2019 9:17 am : link
Well you went out on a limb and gave it a good shot.


Think: I told you so, idiot
He:  
Rory B. Bellows : 7/2/2019 9:20 am : link
How do you think I feel? I was against it from the beginning!


or

Pass the beer nuts.
- Norm
.  
winoguy : 7/2/2019 9:21 am : link
Pics of She or GTFO...
I dunno. Something zen about all experiences  
NBGblue : 7/2/2019 9:25 am : link
help us grow. Maybe follow up with the Batman line: "We fall so that we can learn to pick ourselves up."

But if your "friend" hasn't learned by now that when a woman asks your advice she's very likely to do whatever she feels like doing anyway regardless of what you say, this was hopefully a learning experience for him too.
Should add to the story...  
Dan in the Springs : 7/2/2019 9:36 am : link
<next day>
She: I can't believe I did this, this was so stupid.

He: (long pause) It will be okay.

She: I need to undo this.

He: Just leave it alone would be best.

<next day>

She: How can I fix this.

He: You can't. It is what it is, you just have to move on.

She: I can't believe I did this, I have to fix this. I think I'm going to...(enter new idea)

He: That will only make it worse. Please just let it go.

<repeat this conversation for another two days>

She: I have an idea about how to fix this. (explains idea)

He: Please don't do that. It's not a good idea. Just leave it alone.

She: Really? I think this could be good.

He: _________________________

What do you say now?

Friend wants to know.
Well after this most recent interaction  
figgy2989 : 7/2/2019 9:41 am : link
Definitely She should be blasted in the...

Wait, She sounds like a real winner and your "Friend" should run away...very very far away. If "Friend" is married to "she", "friend" needs to grow a sack and tell "she" that she is an idiot.
can you expand on what this 'idea' is?  
giants#1 : 7/2/2019 9:42 am : link
She's obviously not creating the next iPad. Meddling in the affairs of others?
Yeah, need a bit more detail  
figgy2989 : 7/2/2019 9:43 am : link
Does it have a monetary impact?
Not a meddling in affairs thing.  
Dan in the Springs : 7/2/2019 9:45 am : link
A home improvement project kind of thing. Doesn't really matter though, could be whatever.

After 28 years of marriage, friend knows that she does this from time to time. Darn thing is that friend loves she and is luck to have she. Friend's mistakes far outweigh she's.
Before I answer  
JCin332 : 7/2/2019 9:45 am : link
where would you rank her on the hot/crazy scale...??
High on hot, low on crazy  
Dan in the Springs : 7/2/2019 9:47 am : link
and yes, there is a monetary impact, but she is paying for it all with funds earned outside the family budget, so no real problem there.
High on hot..  
FatMan in Charlotte : 7/2/2019 9:49 am : link
means skip the Blasting in the butt and phone up Colonel Angus....
.  
Greg from LI : 7/2/2019 9:52 am : link
.  
figgy2989 : 7/2/2019 9:54 am : link
He:  
Heisenberg : 7/2/2019 9:55 am : link
helps her through the bullshit to the best of his ability.

The time for itoldyouso is later, my friend, if at all.
if there are no real financial implications  
giants#1 : 7/2/2019 9:55 am : link
and no one's going to get hurt, then your friend should just support her misadventures and offer to fix things up when she finally gives up.
People learn from their mistakes  
BigBlueDownTheShore : 7/2/2019 9:56 am : link
and you can only lead them to a certain point. Be supportive without giving a opinion.
Some of the best advice I've ever received was  
j_rud : 7/2/2019 9:57 am : link
"Sometimes you can be right *or* you can be happy. Can't be both". Most times I try to choose happiness, because banging my head on the proverbial wall to prove I'm right comes at a high cost to peace of mind and often relationships. If you've been married 28 yrs you know what to do: continue to offer support, avoid "I told you so"-ing her if at all possible, and continue venting through appropriate channels. Odds are in the next 90 days you'll do something that makes her seek similar advice. Gotta build that relationship karma.
IToldYouSo = 5 seconds of gratification  
giants#1 : 7/2/2019 9:57 am : link
Supporting her = lots of gratification (ok, probably closer to 30 secs) later on when she realizes her mistake(s) but appreciates you (your friend) being there for her.
Today's lesson  
Gman11 : 7/2/2019 10:05 am : link
She: "I want to _____."

He: "If it makes you happy, then go for it.

That's it. No more discussion. She sinks or swims on her own. If it fails then it's "That's terrible. I'm so sorry it didn't work out."

They aren't looking for opinions. They are looking for support.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding  
wonderback : 7/2/2019 10:10 am : link
The correct answer.
Fuck that.  
robbieballs2003 : 7/2/2019 10:42 am : link
I wouldn't be like it is okay at least you learned. If it is a one time thing then fine. But this sounds repetitive. Being supportive is enabling the behavior.
RE: Today's lesson  
Dan in the Springs : 7/2/2019 11:07 am : link
In comment 14489393 Gman11 said:
Quote:
She: "I want to _____."

He: "If it makes you happy, then go for it.

That's it. No more discussion. She sinks or swims on her own. If it fails then it's "That's terrible. I'm so sorry it didn't work out."

They aren't looking for opinions. They are looking for support.


That sounds good, but she isn't satisfied with that response. She wants to hear friend say friend is on board with the idea, even though friend isn't and won't be.

Not a big deal, friend isn't in any kind of marital trouble, knows how to deal with this, just thought it would be interesting to hear viewpoints on this kind of relationship dilemma that happens from time to time.
Any man in a serious relationship with a women has this issue  
Giant John : 7/2/2019 2:11 pm : link
To deal with on a regular basis. Why bring your friends issue to this website?
This is what my friend asked me to communicate to you. So I’m doing him a favor.
LOL...
" you fucked up, don't we all"  
gtt350 : 7/2/2019 3:14 pm : link
.
.  
arcarsenal : 7/2/2019 3:34 pm : link
Just gotta blast her in the butt....
Hmm..  
FatMan in Charlotte : 7/2/2019 3:56 pm : link
Gman 11 +1  
idiotsavant : 7/3/2019 10:41 am : link
I would go even farther and offer help. Just remember, it's her project, not yours, don't get grabby or rude her coat tails.

Be positive, supportive, it's what anyone would want.

Flip that around, if your child was in a relationship with someone who always was negative about her projects, what advice would you give her? Find more positive, supportive, enthused relationships!
Typo  
idiotsavant : 7/3/2019 10:41 am : link
Don't ride her coat tails.
Unless it's illegal or exploitive  
idiotsavant : 7/3/2019 11:01 am : link
Offer verbal encouragement
Bitch, U Stoopid!  
Sneakers O'toole : 7/3/2019 1:06 pm : link
.
This is one of those  
Leg of Theismann : 7/3/2019 8:05 pm : link
would you rather be Right or Happy situations. When you have nothing to gain/lose from being Right, always go with Happy. Do not say "I told you so"... simply say "I'm very sorry it didn't work out, what happened?" Tend toward just asking questions and listening rather than inserting your opinion since you likely are going to tend toward the "I told you so" speak.
.  
fkap : 7/4/2019 10:20 am : link
He: JFC, Karen. Go figure it out yourself. If I want to deal with morons whose brains are firmly lodged up their asses, I'd log on to BBI.
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