Not sure why I feel compelled to post but I do.
Guy we know from youth sports, our kids have played sports, basketball, lacrosse, etc. all their lives, turns out he’s been living a double life. This guy, who my wife and I always said was serial killer creepy, has been keeping a girlfriend for years in NJ. His wife is a C level big deal at a major corp in NYC while this guy has always been Mr Mom, and apparently seeing this other woman for years. When the wife went away on business, the husband would have the baby sitter / nanny stay with the two kids while he went to NJ to be with his gf. Which it turns out is how he gets caught b/c the nanny rats the guy out at her exit interview. (Wtf nanny and why didn’t the kids tell?!)
So now the really creepy part.
This guy is caught. But he doesn’t slither away like the snake he is, but rather, he moves into the basement of their house. So, the kids and the soon to be ex-wife are living upstairs while the philandering Mr Mom is in the basement plotting his an alimony case. This has been going on for four months now.
Like I say, no idea why I feel compelled to share with the board. But I do.
Seriously, wtf kind of low life do you have to be to do something like this to your own kids and wife of more than 15 years? I mean, I don’t condone fooling around, but I get it. You get caught, it’s splitsville and you move on. But why would anyone hurt their kids like that? Anyway... life is stranger than fiction sometimes.
Obviously doing some serious mental damage to his kids, but that ball was rolling when he started fooling around.
Count me as so what...this kinda of shit happens all the time. He has to do what is best for him. We say the same thing if it was a stay at home mom.
Sounds like this guy didn't give a shit about how this would affect his kids, and only cared about what he wanted as well.
The POS of the situation to me is the babysitter. Had no problem taking all that money for years. She decides to be the one to break the family up.
The POS of the situation to me is the babysitter. Had no problem taking all that money for years. She decides to be the one to break the family up.
Yeh let's clearly the blame the babysitter, probably living paycheck to paycheck to make ends meet for not coming clean sooner.
Despite being the man of the house, he must be a pussy to retreat to the basement. He should have stayed upstairs.
It is easy to throw stones at people who are just trying to navigate difficult situations and unhappiness. Maybe the guy is a complete ass and the wife is a hard working saint. But I do not fault him for sticking around while the divorce works itself out. I would guess he is getting that advice from a lawyer.
She is probably an au pair heading back home
Seems like oddly placed anger
When the decision is to eat and pay rent most people put the moral dilemma thing on the backburner.
But, he would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for that meddling babysitter!
It is easy to throw stones at people who are just trying to navigate difficult situations and unhappiness. Maybe the guy is a complete ass and the wife is a hard working saint. But I do not fault him for sticking around while the divorce works itself out. I would guess he is getting that advice from a lawyer.
Why the hell would he cut and run when he clearly has a fat alimony payment coming to him? Honestly, expecting these things not to happen when their is a such a financial power imbalance in a long term relationship would be even more shocking.
When the decision is to eat and pay rent most people put the moral dilemma thing on the backburner. [/quote]
So money over morals is OK if you need the money?
And with that I'm out. It's a sad situation. Not one we're going to solve on BBI, especially without pictures of the wife and babysitter (assuming 19+!)
When the decision is to eat and pay rent most people put the moral dilemma thing on the backburner.
So money over morals is OK if you need the money?
And with that I'm out. It's a sad situation. Not one we're going to solve on BBI, especially without pictures of the wife and babysitter (assuming 19+!) [/quote]
This isn't like letting child molestation occur. It was infidelity. There is a scale there.
Why is it creepy?
I know quite a few separated couples who still lived in the same home. Not only to help ease the kids into the idea of divorce but also for financial purposes.
Kids come first .
The guy is a dick.
The system is set up to get as much money into the law firms pockets as possible. I once asked a retired Judge why the courts allow this and he told me "Judges used to lawyers too you know...."
And the kids are pure collateral damage. Tough shit for them
"Sounds like he was a great dad"
He repeatedly abandoned his kids with a nanny to go bang his side piece. Sounds like his priority was getting his dick wet instead of spending time with his children. I would say that's the exact opposite of being a great dad, but that's just me.
"Sounds like he wasn't getting his needs met and had to get it somewhere else"
Yeah, because not having sex is the only reason people cheat on their spouses. Let's demonize the woman based on absolutely no evidence or knowledge of their relationship because it's apparently still 1923, women aren't horny, and men can't control their baser instincts so she obviously had to expect him to cheat since she obviously wasn't giving him free access to her vagina. In fact, the dude is probably a saint because the only times his wife probably let him have sex were to get her pregnant. Then I bet she gallivanted out of town on business and banged other dudes for fun.
"It's really the babysitter's fault for breaking up the family"
Yeah, she really shouldn't have taken that guys dick and forcibly inserted it into other women. The nerve!
This is a relationship nobody on the thread has any idea about except maybe the OP, who doesn't really say how well he actually knows this couple. The rush to excuse the actions of a man who apparently deserted his children seemingly regularly to be with another woman while simultaneously vilifying the woman is problematic at best.
Their arrangement is to have him in the basement, to keep the family unit together - awkward, but I can see how that could make sense.
Kids come first .
The guy is a dick.
Bingo. This guy might be the nicest guy in the world, and it's possibly his wife is the complete opposite - but he let his kids end up collateral damage.
I'm not happy at home, I'm gonna pay some skank to blow me - preferably one who has a dozen others in her mouth each day? Is that how this works?
the stay at home dad is the only slightly odd wrinkle
The POS of the situation to me is the babysitter. Had no problem taking all that money for years. She decides to be the one to break the family up.
She didn't cheat on his wife, he did. That is what broke up the marriage, not her spilling the beans. I understand that there may have been problems in the marriage, but finding a sidepiece and leaving your kids alone with the nanny isn't the answer. That is an indication he probably wasn't the greatest dad.
Quote:
The POS of the situation to me is the babysitter. Had no problem taking all that money for years. She decides to be the one to break the family up.
She didn't cheat on his wife, he did. That is what broke up the marriage, not her spilling the beans. I understand that there may have been problems in the marriage, but finding a sidepiece and leaving your kids alone with the nanny isn't the answer. That is an indication he probably wasn't the greatest dad.
Period.
Quote:
time.
the stay at home dad is the only slightly odd wrinkle
Yeah I was waiting for the WTF moment. Separated/divorced/etc people cohabitate all the time, normally for $ reasons.
Isn't that the point of a nanny? To leave kids with them?
Would be worse if he brought the kids with him.
Probably not or else the guy wouldn't be seeking someone else. She likely has ass-creep. It is when you sit on your ass for so long that the ass begins to defy gravity and creeps up their back. You can tell how long some women are trapped in corporate America by the degree of ass-creep. After 30 years, their ass is near their shoulder blades.
Same reaction. Not really sure what the shocking part of this either. Adult male cheated on wife, isn't this something that happens all the time? What are the divorce rates again and what's a one of the biggest reasons for getting divorced?
I'm actually shocked that this is shocking for some people.
Thankfully I'm not on this boat as I'm happily married, but once a woman carries your children and becomes mother to your children, it's a game changer in my mind. I always think how if shit ever hit the fan with us, it would be my responsibility to carry myself with great respect for her no matter how bad the circumstances for the children's sake.
Basically, if you think of the woman as your children's mother as opposed to just your wife you're probably less likely to do something like this and put everyone in a worse situation than you would have if there was some level of respect and/or communication.
Thankfully I'm not on this boat as I'm happily married, but once a woman carries your children and becomes mother to your children, it's a game changer in my mind. I always think how if shit ever hit the fan with us, it would be my responsibility to carry myself with great respect for her no matter how bad the circumstances for the children's sake.
Basically, if you think of the woman as your children's mother as opposed to just your wife you're probably less likely to do something like this and put everyone in a worse situation than you would have if there was some level of respect and/or communication.