All, you may recall, BeezKids are older now (21 and 19 - time flies). But a friend confided in me today about a thing he’s dealing with, concerning his 7-year-old son. I’d never dealt with this with our kids and I tried looking things up online but had no luck.
Here’s the deal. The boy, nice and normal kid, lately has begun telling his parents that he “doesn’t feel real.” I guess he can’t offer many details. They are perplexed. Considering a counselor. But he has a physical in a few weeks so they may wait to see what if anything pops up there.
Happy, average little guy. Nothing out of the ordinary, really. At least obviously.
Thought I’d toss it to BBI, as this community typically will have sage advice.
Thanks all.
My middle Son, then about 8 years old (now 30) displayed similar feelings of dis-association. He had attention problems and while not debilitating or extreme we wanted to be 'good', 'proactive' parents.
At the advice of some of his teachers, we took him to a pediatrician. After what I considered a very modest examination, he ordered a cocktail of drugs, including Ritalin. He also suggested getting help from a child psychologist. We did this.
We drugged the crap out of our kid and ran him through at least 3 different psychologists. We got dragged along this path, because we wanted to be those good parents. Our pediatrician said to keep working on it and it could be a lifetime thing. Meanwhile I learned the hard way that psychologists are the most screwed-up people on the planet. This was like pouring gasoline on a fire.
Fast forward to about 2 months ago. Ironic to your thread, I'm talking to my Son on the phone (he lives in Philadelphia) and having a discussion about his childhood. He hits me with a spear in the heart by saying that the 2-3 years that he spent on the drugs and the parade of whacky psychologists had led to a lot of his adolescent problems. He had drug dependency issues and had a lot of problems coping through high school. We worked through all of this, but it took a very heavy toll on all of us. Thankfully, he got his act together, graduated from college and is very well adjusted. But... it took a mountain of work by him to overcome his 'good' parents.
If I could go back in time, I would ride-out the problems my Son displayed. The more I thought about what he said, the more stupid I felt. I saw what a crap-show this time was, but I put blind faith in something that I should have been smarter about. Now... I'd talk his through it and give him love and comfort. My advice to your friend is to be VERY cautious of drugs and psychologists. For my family, the cure was far worse than the illness!
Thanks Bama. I'm glad your son is doing well. I appreciate you sharing your story.
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it's not personal information if there is no person identified.
Even the EU or CA wouldn't consider this protected information.
IT IS ANONYMOUS
It doesn't really matter, it's just principle.
If it were my kid, I wouldn't be thrilled with one of my friends asking for 'advice' regarding their behavior on a public internet forum when I didn't ask them to do that.
Is it a big deal? No. Is there any point to this thread? What's the endgame here? Is Beez going to go back to these people and say "hey, I thought your kid was saying some weird shit, so I sought advice on a football message board and here's what I learned..."
I'm guessing that wouldn't go over all that well.
If the actual parents want advice for their own child, they can seek it on their own. I'm not sure what Beez has to gain here or how this possibly helps the child who probably doesn't even have anything wrong with him.
We've got a bunch of people trying to psychoanalyze a 7 year old child because he said he doesn't feel real.
Kids say weird things! I don't think they need to sound the alarms here and I'm sure they don't need a friend posting about their child's problems on a sports message board - anonymous or not.
Bama's insight is worth all the crap some of you are wasting your time with.
Quote:
it's not personal information if there is no person identified.
Even the EU or CA wouldn't consider this protected information.
IT IS ANONYMOUS
FYI, I know Beez, and have no idea who the fuck he's talking about.
x ... I don't believe you know the family.
Oh Les ... you just never know. LOL
Hi RC, Hi Bill2!
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In comment 14574197 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
it's not personal information if there is no person identified.
Even the EU or CA wouldn't consider this protected information.
IT IS ANONYMOUS
It doesn't really matter, it's just principle.
If it were my kid, I wouldn't be thrilled with one of my friends asking for 'advice' regarding their behavior on a public internet forum when I didn't ask them to do that.
Is it a big deal? No. Is there any point to this thread? What's the endgame here? Is Beez going to go back to these people and say "hey, I thought your kid was saying some weird shit, so I sought advice on a football message board and here's what I learned..."
I'm guessing that wouldn't go over all that well.
If the actual parents want advice for their own child, they can seek it on their own. I'm not sure what Beez has to gain here or how this possibly helps the child who probably doesn't even have anything wrong with him.
We've got a bunch of people trying to psychoanalyze a 7 year old child because he said he doesn't feel real.
Kids say weird things! I don't think they need to sound the alarms here and I'm sure they don't need a friend posting about their child's problems on a sports message board - anonymous or not.
Bama's insight is worth all the crap some of you are wasting your time with.
It's not our fault you're a fucking weirdo, man.
Let me know what you're going to do with this important "insight" now. Go back and let them know you received "sage wisdom" on Big Blue Interactive and give them parenting advice?
Maybe just mind your own business and worry about your own kids. Just a thought.
Kid feels like he 'isn't real'?
Good! He's perceptive!
If you wake up one morning and find all the knives from your kitchen arranged around your bed, blades pointing to you (this happened to someone I knew years ago, 3rd-hand) THEN get help.
Otherwise, just ride it out like the rest of us. We grow out of most of our odd childhood behavior.
Creepy! Ted Bundy actually did that to a relation as a kid. That would be so damn spooky.
As for the issue at hand, it sounds like starting with the pediatrician since the physical is coming up is a good idea along with checking in with his teachers.