In fitting with the “offseason topics” theme this afternoon...I know I’m not the only who travels regularly for work...and therefore often needs to use a public loo to take care of business.
Generally, I expect a certain degree of messiness - bc people are savages. But this one happens to me regularly, and for the life of me I don’t fucking understand.
You lock the door to the stall, or bathroom itself if it’s a “one-man”...and sit down to attend to your business.
Someone else arrives and tries the door, only to find it locked.
Why in the name of all things holy do people then proceed to start knocking on the door of the bathroom or stall AFTER they already tried the door and found it locked?
Is the fact the door is locked from the inside not a clear enough indicator that the toilet is occupied? What the fuck is wrong with people?
The other one that kills me is when people who feel compelled to build a “nest” before sitting down to their chores then leave the nest in place, rather than flushing it with the rest of their business. Those people should be sentenced to a week of cleaning that public toilet. With a toothbrush.
OK rant over. Anyone else got any gems that really set them off?
What about the guy who comes and stands next to you when there are plenty of other urinals he could have used?
Dude walks out of the stall, and I'm at the sink washing and I look in the mirror and see him leaving and I just said "hands" and looked at him through the mirror.
and he hears me, makes eye contact through the mirror and aaid "oh, yeah, I hadn't even thought of that" and went on to wash his hands. So I said "let's make this a habit".
Guy was a literal genius computer programmer but he hadn't thought that not washing your hands after shitting is possibly harmful?
people are disgusting and it's not on display any "better" than the public restroom.
pet peeves of more public places than the work bathroom:
1. people talking on their phone in the bathroom, extra cringe credit for using speaker phone
2. people who wash their bodies in the sink
the rest have mostly been mentioned. I try and avoid public restrooms as much as possible. traveling as much as I do I'm in airports, train stations, etc a lot and they are the worst of the worst.
I mean... what in the fuck, man. WHY.
How do you know how well strangers are wiping?
I understand that they do this in places with poor plumbing that can't really handle the paper in the pipes; but we had no problem of the sort in my office. The toilets all flushed and were more than capable of taking the toilet paper with it. There was no reason to be doing this there.. and yet, he would do it every day.
I mean... what in the fuck, man. WHY.
Someone else already mentioned this.....I must be blessed, because I've never seen this in my life.
Oh man this is brutal too, good one.
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I'm sure everyone has also wound up in a public restroom with the older gentleman who somehow sees a need to drop the pants all the way to the ankles at the urinal.
I mean... what in the fuck, man. WHY.
Someone else already mentioned this.....I must be blessed, because I've never seen this in my life.
Indeed you are, my friend. I've been unfortunate enough to have seen it more than once. Terrible. Will never understand it.
Not only does it accomplish nothing, but it also gets a lot of your pants touching the bathroom floor that has already been doused in piss.
A lot of these people must have had parents that just breezed right through any semblance of bathroom etiquette or hygiene. In their world, I guess this behavior is just normal.
I mean... what in the fuck, man. WHY.
I haven't noticed this either but I can't stop laughing at this nevertheless!
I mean... what in the fuck, man. WHY.
That and the guy who stands there with both hands on his hips.
Silvio: I've got no fucking idea.
Paulie: You go in the public bathrooms. You stand at the urinals...
Hesh: Oh fuck. Come on will ya.
Paulie: He's asking me and I'm telling him and frankly it's important. Even if the laces dry and even if you don't touch the body of the show, bacteria and virus migrate from the sole up.
Christopher: You see this on TV?
Paulie: I gotta watch TV to figure out the world. Your average men's shit house is a fucking sewer. You look at lady's johns you can eat maple walnut ice cream from the toilets. Eh! There's exceptions. But the men piss all over the fucking floor, urinals jammed with cigarettes and moth ball cakes. Even if you keep your shoes tied, and your laces aren't dragging through urine....
Silvio: (trying to eat his lunch) SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!
I mean... what in the fuck, man. WHY.
I understand that they do this in places with poor plumbing that can't really handle the paper in the pipes; but we had no problem of the sort in my office. The toilets all flushed and were more than capable of taking the toilet paper with it. There was no reason to be doing this there.. and yet, he would do it every day.
WHAT?? WHY?
Like i said, continuously shocked by public bathroom behavior.
Forgot about the old man dropping his pants at the urinal. That's a classic and so confusing.
I go into the bathroom and go to stall 5 all the way in the corner. Someone else comes in a minute later. Of course, this person goes to stall 1 (the further away) to maximize the distance between the two of us right? Nope! This psychopath chooses stall 4 and just lets it rip.
I end up just leaving and trying again later.
The most disgusting thing is; you enter the stall to do #2, and the seat is covered in piss. You can’t just cover that, it needs deep cleaning. But you got to go, so, it’s now hover poop time. No touching that seat.
This.
Every bit of this.
For those unavoidable moments, does anyone actually sit down on a public toilet seat?
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At an old job, I worked with a guy who would wipe and just throw it in the garbage too... that one used to drive me fucking crazy. So disgusting.
I understand that they do this in places with poor plumbing that can't really handle the paper in the pipes; but we had no problem of the sort in my office. The toilets all flushed and were more than capable of taking the toilet paper with it. There was no reason to be doing this there.. and yet, he would do it every day.
WHAT?? WHY?
Like i said, continuously shocked by public bathroom behavior.
Forgot about the old man dropping his pants at the urinal. That's a classic and so confusing.
I take it you have never been to Mexico or Central America.
Their toilets, pipes, and sewage systems can't handle toilet paper: throwing it in a wastebasket is SOP down there. You want to REALLY talk about disgusting? Public bathrooms in gas stations or roadside rest stops do not even supply paper, so you have to either bring your own or do as the locals do and carry a piece of fucking NEWSPAPER in your pocket with you at all times.
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don't know how to wipe properly.
Um, Jay. How do you know that?
LOL, shit is caked on to the back of the toilet seat where the top of their crack is. I see this multiple times a week.
I go into the bathroom and go to stall 5 all the way in the corner. Someone else comes in a minute later. Of course, this person goes to stall 1 (the further away) to maximize the distance between the two of us right? Nope! This psychopath chooses stall 4 and just lets it rip.
I end up just leaving and trying again later.
That’s very funny...
I’m amazed how many people talk on the phone while in the stall. I just don’t get it...
/users out. Don't want to have them unlock bathroom with key and enter on them. Knock let's me know if someone is in there and it's locked because of that or if you have yo go get key
Reminds me of that video of the two Dallas fans Banging our one on the floor of the stadium bathroom! Only G-D knows what germs are on those floors!! Oh and talk about class!
Those nest builders all have a military background or have military parents.
I am the bathroom cop because I hate filthy fucks, have no qualms calling them out in there or in the office and have put bounties on their nasty behavior.
I tried putting this up in a highly visible place, then moved to putting it in every stall.
Also signs above the urinals to flush because apparently their moms never taught them this.
The only way to deal with nasty fucks is to embarrass them into slightly given a damn. Politeness doesn't work because they don't care.
I go into the bathroom and go to stall 5 all the way in the corner. Someone else comes in a minute later. Of course, this person goes to stall 1 (the further away) to maximize the distance between the two of us right? Nope! This psychopath chooses stall 4 and just lets it rip.
I end up just leaving and trying again later.
I’m dying laughing on this thread. This post really cracked me up...but honestly, most of them are making me laugh out loud.
Alcohol bro. or drugs. Or drugs and alcohol. Pretty sure people having sex in public rest rooms are not sober.
Agree. Except fortunately for me, the last place I worked had one person toilets so I loved that....only one person at a time suits me. Like I said, I don’t want to hear anyone dumping or farting and I’m pretty sure no 9ne gets excited hearing me do the same. At least I hope so.
Those nest builders all have a military background or have military parents.
Generally ignore them, and enjoy their confusion. But on occasion I can’t help having a little fun, slipping a comment out along the lines of “oh are you done with the sports page?”
Hehe
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both finish at the same time.
Eagles Fan: Um... aren't you going to wash your hands?! In Philadelphia, we are taught to wash our hands after we pee.
Giants Fan: In New York, we learn not to piss on our hands.
If you touch your dick, you wash your hands. Eagles fans shouldn't be ahead of Giants fans on this.
By that logic, shouldn't you wash your hands before you touch your dick? Your hands are almost always infinitely dirtier than your dick until they come in contact with each other.
That’s some serious shit there. Like it.
Male Restroom Etiquette - ( New Window )
Love checking out which stall to use, taking the one that is less bad.
I remember way back in college the women’s bathroom were apparently horror shows.
For a few years I was in a cubicle right out side a bathroom. Nothing like knowing your coworkers bathroom habits—happy to be back in an office.
I work at a Community center with pools, hot tub, steam room, work out facility and more. Used to work out a place that also housed people. You want to talk about hygiene issues that come across. At one place I worked we used to have a fairly large lady come and poop in a chair in the lobby almost every day—mesh chairs.
People are animals.
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We're all professionals, it's a Fortune 100 company. It's a brand new bathroom that's cleaned every few hours.
The stalls aren't amusement park style small to make it a challenge - how the hell am I standing in a pile of piss at all the stalls by 10 AM? Are people's aim THAT bad?
Seriously. I’ve accepted that actually putting the seat up is asking too much for some people...but how do so many miss the toilet altogether?
There's an anecdote about Lyndon Johnson in which he admonishes Lady Bird for allowing a certain visitor to use the bathroom. According to Lyndon, "He has a crooked dick! He pisses all over the rug!"
never sit on the seat but use a disposable seat cover, you can buy packages of them. if you don't want to do that - use paper towls.
I also take my pants off and hang them on door. I will not just drop my pants and take a chance that they rub against the base of a bowl that thousands have pissed on
never sit on the seat but use a disposable seat cover, you can buy packages of them. if you don't want to do that - use paper towls.
I also take my pants off and hang them on door. I will not just drop my pants and take a chance that they rub against the base of a bowl that thousands have pissed on
Wtf? You take your pants completely off and hang them on the door? Now that is awesome. I’d love to know how you go about putting them back on without having them touch the piss stained floor though. I think you’d be better off keeping them on and just not rubbing against the bowl, it’s not difficult, but that’s just me....
never sit on the seat but use a disposable seat cover, you can buy packages of them. if you don't want to do that - use paper towls.
I also take my pants off and hang them on door. I will not just drop my pants and take a chance that they rub against the base of a bowl that thousands have pissed on
Those seat covers suck and try traveling long distances without having to take a dump. I think your ass knows and wants to get even....
Honestly some of the cleanest bathrooms I've seen are in airports.
never sit on the seat but use a disposable seat cover, you can buy packages of them. if you don't want to do that - use paper towls.
I also take my pants off and hang them on door. I will not just drop my pants and take a chance that they rub against the base of a bowl that thousands have pissed on
Who are you? The maestro?
In my early 20's I was road tripping with my family....caravan style. We all stopped at a state rest stop for gas, food, and restrooms. The place was packed with travelers so there was a line in the bathroom for an open stall or urinal. At my turn, a man left a stall and so I stepped in to piss.
As anticipated, it was filthy. Piss all over the seat and floor. Now remember, I'm just pissing. So I piss and step out, wash my hands and join my family in one of the food lines out in the food court.
All of the sudden, a young dad carrying a toddler comes storming up to me screaming and cursing. The entire food court turns to observe this guy berating me about how I pissed all over the seat and left it for him to sit his child down on. He's screaming about how his child has my piss on him.
Before I can even muster a defense, he storms off and leaves me there...the hated villain.
A) who sits their child on a public toilet before inspecting and cleaning it?
B) who cleans a toilet they're not going to be sitting on?
Fyi.....Not a drop of my piss missed the toilet.
Now, being a father myself, I can understand the frustrations involved in traveling with toddlers and potty training, so I empathize with that guy a bit. He still should have considered it for a moment before making a scene.
Same guy also couldn't seem to keep his piss in the urinal either.
Haha man I hate that. Especially if its a unisex bathroom. I just want to tell the lady going in after me that I wasn't the animal that pissed all over the seat. It would be like explaining to people that the elevator smelled like that before you got on.
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As anticipated, it was filthy. Piss all over the seat and floor.
Haha man I hate that. Especially if its a unisex bathroom. I just want to tell the lady going in after me that I wasn't the animal that pissed all over the seat. It would be like explaining to people that the elevator smelled like that before you got on.
Don't do that. I did it at a restaurant once.
It was a unisex bathroom with no urinal and whoever was in there before me pissed all over the seat and there's no way I was doing their dirty work to clean it for them. I took a piss, didn't add to the mess at all, but when I came out, there were two attractive women behind me and when I warned and apologized to them for the animal who made the mess before me, they laughed and were just like "yeah, sure... it totally wasn't you... "
So. Some things are better left unsaid. They'd have just as soon assumed it was me anyway, I'm sure... but it definitely didn't help my case to mention it in advance.
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As anticipated, it was filthy. Piss all over the seat and floor.
Haha man I hate that. Especially if its a unisex bathroom. I just want to tell the lady going in after me that I wasn't the animal that pissed all over the seat. It would be like explaining to people that the elevator smelled like that before you got on.
Haha. Agreed. Keep in mind there was a line so I never thought to look back and see who was following me.
I learned to not falsely advertise an open bathroom that day. I felt terrible.
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bring a disposable bleach wipe for the seat.
never sit on the seat but use a disposable seat cover, you can buy packages of them. if you don't want to do that - use paper towls.
I also take my pants off and hang them on door. I will not just drop my pants and take a chance that they rub against the base of a bowl that thousands have pissed on
Those seat covers suck and try traveling long distances without having to take a dump. I think your ass knows and wants to get even....
Honestly some of the cleanest bathrooms I've seen are in airports.
Yup airports are usually cleaned regularly. God bless the people who clean them.
My first choice is usually hotel lobbies. Actually what set me off to start this thread yesterday afternoon, I was dropping a deuce off the lobby in the Hilton on 6th ave in Midtown between meetings, and some guy tried the stall door, found it locked, then proceeded with the aforementioned knocking on the stall door.
I mean, WTF. Idiot.
stall talkers are easy to fix, just fart loudly or say something really awful