We have 3 kids (ages 8, 5 & 3) and moved out to the Midwest 7 years ago. We are somewhat settled but it has never quite felt like home, we are both east coasters and left all of our friends and family behind. And even when we moved here we always said that we could move back. The stars have aligned employment wise and now we have the opening so at least we'll both be employed and could make this work better than anytime in the past. We realize the cost involved (might take a bath on our house), traffic/congestion, lifestyle change and everything - but kinda feel like this would be the easiest logistical time to make this move.
Someone give me a sign that this is the right move? Cousins will all be closer, family/friends closer, the only time my wife feels at home is when she is walking around NYC and I love it too although unlikely we'll live in the city. This move makes sense right?
Who has the inside scoop on Fair Lawn
I've grown up in and around Bergen county my entire life and Fair Lawn is a nice town. Taxes aren't horrible considering the area. The schools are all really good. There are several modes of transportation to get into the city (there are 2 train stops in town- Radburn and Broadway), several bus lines, etc.
I will say it is starting to get crowded, they are building new townhouses to go along with others that have been put up along 208 at the Promenade years ago. So there was an issue with figuring out the influx of students into the school system to deal with it and they've expanded the middle schools starting next year.
It is a diverse population, with a heavy Russian/Jewish community that is mostly along by the Radburn/Glen Rock area (don't be shocked to hear Russian spoken almost exclusively in some parts of town). But overall it is a melting pot.
You can read this article from the NYT about it, and it's true, it does smell like cookies, particularly in the cold weather from the Nabisco factory that is up on 208 near the border of Glen Rock and Hawthorne.
You can read up on the Radburn part of town, which was the first planned community. However, and I have many friends who live in Radburn, and they will admit that the Radburn part of town holds themselves in a bit of a higher esteem. Special people live in Radburn, just ask them and they will tell you ;) . They have their own parks, pool, etc that they pay into as part of the Radburn Association (which is sort of like an HOA).
There are some sections which border near Paterson which can get a little sketchy and another that is near an industrial area by Hawthorne, but overall, there is plenty of good housing all over, with the sides near Glen Rock and Paramus probably the most desirable.
Good luck!
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/26/realestate/fair-lawn-nj-an-unpretentious-place-that-smells-like-cookies.html - ( New Window )
Got a few more questions if that's cool. ImThatGuyBBI @ gmail
Got a few more questions if that's cool. ImThatGuyBBI @ gmail
Sure, I made it easy- mattinsgs@gmail.com
Life is slower for you now.. realize how much busier life will be for you and the family in NJ.
Life is slower for you now.. realize how much busier life will be for you and the family in NJ.
Ehhh, I've lived in multiple neighborhoods in Jersey City while having family in Hoboken, but have also lived in Park Slope and Williamsburg. Other than the nightclubs and higher number of concert venues, I think I prefer it on in JC/Hoboken.
Don't get me wrong, I love BK (especially South Slope), and loved my time there. I just think the increased rent isn't worth it. Plus, being from NJ and going to Rutgers, I know significantly more people in these two towns.
I guess this is a long winded way of me saying that I find it to be pretty comparable.
With regards to not moving back to NJ though, if you're talking strictly suburbs, I 100% agree with you.
Hell, even when it comes to moving out of the NYC area, there's like a list of 5 different places I'd even consider (at least domestically).
Mattinsgs gives great advice and has not missed anything. Fairlawn is a diverse town with great schools that is building multi unit housing quite rapidly. The town is an easy commute to NYC- I took NJ Transit to Manhattan for twenty years from Radburn Fairlawn. Close to Manhattan, Giant Stadium and all the shopping one could ever imagine.
Home is what you make it, but having family and friend in the vicinity makes it a lot easier. The reason why I never left.
Good luck!
i would never move back to NJ (too crowded for me), but those two things made it much harder than if my wife and I had stayed in NJ.
Lots of traffic
And a ton of idiots
It’s a really great place.
Actually I did the same thing years ago. No regrets.
Good luck.
This. And sounds like your heart and your wife's heart says go home. To me it's a no brainer. Be closer to family.
Most of the family there. Would mind being able to spend a couple months a yr there, spring and autumn
But that will be in ten yrs when I am retiring or close to it
Like west coast a lot. Won’t live in Bay Area after we hang it up though
Maybe AZ again or Henderson NV
I suppose if we had a great job offer would consider it though
I wouldn't wait to get back to the northeast. Finally did for good around 1999. there are some areas I think I could live in outside the northeast, but definitely not DC/NoVA - that place is a hell hole.
I love Massachusetts and grew up hating it (as a CT resident it's a requirement).
I think eventually I'll settle where my kids do, but if it's up to me I doubt I'd leave the Northeast again.
So anyway, no I don't think you're crazy, but you know what you're getting into.
Cons of the Northeast:
congestion
traffic (this is location dependent, plenty of midwestern or other areas with bad traffic)
cold winters
snow
pros of the Northeast:
food
identity
family (for some people)
4 seasons
schools*
hospitals*
*these of course depend on the community
probably more, that's off the top of my head
Life is slower for you now.. realize how much busier life will be for you and the family in NJ.
I am not far from you (Virginia Beach). We love it down here too. You touched on an important point, I think. Virginia has a *ton* of NY/NJ transplants. I meet people originally from NY all the time here (we even have a Giants sports bar). In contrast, the Midwest is a different animal. I lived in Ohio for 5 years and *everyone* was from Ohio. I could see maybe wanting to move back to NY if I had a permanent job in Ohio (and I didn't dislike Ohio at all). To the OP, do what feels right for you and your family! Only you can decide. I couldn't go back to the traffic and overall population density again. Having only a 15-20 minute commute each day is something I can never give up.
My question is: Why Fair Lawn? Is affordability? Location? Family ties? I’ve never been a fan of Fair Lawn. Just don’t see the appeal, although I get that the location is good. It’s kind of a border town for Bergen, between some nicer towns and the not so nice area transitioning into Paterson. So, why Fair Lawn?
ImThatGuyBBI @ gmail
I don’t think you will ever regret moving to the Midwest and giving it a try. But your heart is telling you to come back home. You will regret it if you don’t listen
Have you asked your children how they feel? Of course ultimately it's you and your wife's decision, and the eight year old is probably the only one capable of truly grasping what it means, but if it were me I would still talk with them and take how it might affect them into consideration when forming that decision. The last thing you would want is to make the move and then years later regret doing so because of your children. That goes beyond the two of you missing NY/NJ IMO.
I wish you well, I'm sure the two of you will know what's the right direction for your family.
You also have a reason for leaving the Mid-west.
Perhaps there is a third place that suits your needs better than either Fair Lawn or the Mid-west.
I worked in Manhattan for four years and in Albany for the next 30. That was a good choice for ME. There are probably a million people for whom it would have been a bad choice.
You've got a really important decision to make. Good luck.
In your case you've only been gone for 7 years but you have to ask yourself why you left to begin with and how you would be able to adjust going back. With small children, the adjustment might be even harder for both yourself and them. Are there economic reasons for doing this or will you just be taking a hit ?
But if you have extended family in NJ, and cousins for the kids, you’re not at all crazy.
Big decisions, best to you.
I miss the people. OK, and the sandwiches. It would take a lot to get me to move back there, but I would be good with Jersey despite her warts because the people are fucking awesome. Colorful, caring and fun.
There's a reason near every episode of 'Would You Do That?' is filmed there - you act like an asshole, someone will ABSOLUTELY call you out on it.