NGT If you are in need of a laugh or two -

From Bob Dyer’s blog:
I’d give credit to the authors of these gems, but in most cases it’s virtually impossible to pin down who first laid fingers on keyboard. So, in no particular order, away we go ....

On a photo of empty store shelves: “Y’all have Walmart looking like the Cleveland Browns’ trophy case.”

“We are about three weeks away from knowing everyone’s true hair color.”

“Apparently, this year is being written by Stephen King.”

“Day 2 without sports. Found a lady sitting on my couch. Apparently she’s my wife. Seems nice.”

“Like a good neighbor, stay over there.”

“If you self-quarantine for your family’s safety, please be smart. I cannot afford to go to 15 baby showers in December.”

“Actually, it’s only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France; otherwise it’s just sparkling isolation.”

Atop a drawing of Keith Richards holding a cigarette: “Coronavirus barometer. If he goes, we all go.”

With a photo of a guy wearing a medical mask and looking out a window: “Day 6 of no sports. Watching birds fight over worms. Cardinals lead the Blue Jays 3-1.”

Over a photo of a guy wearing a plain white T-shirt: “2020 NCAA Champions Shirts, $19.95.”

“Day 3 of working from home and my wife has filed two sexual harassment claims with HR.”

Above a photo of a hand with words written all over the palm in ink: “I washed my hands so much that my exam notes from 1995 resurfaced.”

“Back in the day, there was so much toilet paper that people used to literally string it up in the trees of their enemies.”

A cartoon with two dinosaurs, one of them a Tyrannosaurus rex, which has long legs, a huge mouth and very short arms. Brontosaurus: “Cover your mouth when you cough.” T-Rex: “I [bleeping] can’t!”

“Now that we have everyone washing their hands correctly ... next week, turn signals.”

“You know that stash of fast-food napkins in your glovebox? It’s their turn to shine.”

Over a photo of Rod Sterling: “Imagine no restaurants, bars, concerts or sports. You just entered The Twilight Zone.”

“Sometimes I wonder if all this is happening because I didn’t forward that message to 10 other people.”

Keep smiling. This, too, shall pass. I think.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com. He also is on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bob.dyer.31.