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NFT: BlueLou need advice from you.

idinkido : 7/12/2020 5:40 pm
An elderly relative of my wife, presently residing in NYC, owns 2 burial plots in Israel. It appears that he has changed his mind and wants to be buried in New York. His son-in-law, a guy you would be wary to shake hands with, handles the elder's financial affairs. This son-in-law, says that the Israeli plots can not be sold by the elder. My wife and I highly doubt the son-in-laws statement and think that after the elder passes away and is buried in New York (which the elder wants), that this son-in-law will sell the plots of the elder and keep the monies for himself. My wife has an interest in this because the elder is her father and he wants to live his remaining years with us in Florida. This son-in-law over the years has lived a wealthy life style, hardly working himself, using the old man's money. My wife's dad is a wonderful, well liked man, and we just want to see that he has appropriate care. The care he has gotten under his other son-in-law, is mostly neglect, and not wanting to spend any of the elder's money on the elder. Would appreciate your input Lou. Can my wife's dad legally sell the burial plots he owns in Israel?
If any other member from BBI has any info that can help us, we would appreciate it.
P.S. I'm retired and financially doing well so whatever money he has left will go for his use and later, if any funds are left, will be shared among family members who best can use it. Thanks to Lou and rest of BBI.
Does he have a will?  
steve in ky : 7/12/2020 6:24 pm : link
If not he probably should get one. This situation seems to be begging for strife when he passes away. Even with your own good intentions about “whatever money he has left will go for his use and later, if any funds are left, will be shared among family members who best can use it.” Who will determine who can best use it, and is that even his wishes? Save yourselves and your wife’s family the possible extra pain and suggest that he decide for himself what is to be done with all his remaining assets, including the plots, and have an updated will in place.
What Steve in KY wrote is spot on.  
BlueLou'sBack : 7/12/2020 6:58 pm : link
The other son in law is almost for sure lying re "the burial plots cannot be sold." Depending where they are, the plots in fact may be worth a hefty sum. For example if they are in Jerusalem, in the Mount of Olives cemetery (I think that's the name) they are worth a small fortune.

Have him write a will as detailed as he can, outlining his intentions for his estate and the burial plots and any other property he has in Israel. Then have the will translated to Hebrew through the Israeli Consulate in NY, and make sure a copy of that officially translated and notarized will gets into the hands of the company who manages the burial plots in Israel.

Sorry to hear you have a dog of an in-law to deal with, but that is the best way.
As a wild guess, so don't take it as more than that wothout  
BlueLou'sBack : 7/12/2020 7:03 pm : link
due research, I'd estimate two burial plots in the Jerusalem Mount of Olives cemetery to be worth anywhere from 15K to 50K each, and of course continuing to climb in value over time as all Israeli real estate tends to do.

I might even be under estimating their value.
Also, depends  
NYGIANTS86 : 7/12/2020 7:32 pm : link
On the burial plot contracts. If these were bought by a family group it is possible that he has to sell the plots back to the family entity.

Without that knowledge it's tough to say, but a will is paramount. Also, if you should need an Israeli lawyer reach out, I have many that can handle or point you in the right direction.
I may know some ppl  
NoPeanutz : 7/12/2020 8:47 pm : link
Inside the Israeli consulate. Send me an email
Thank you to each of you for this info and advice.  
idinkido : 7/13/2020 5:42 am : link
A will would be the best way to go. Regretfully, I have little or no say in the situation
because wife's brother-in-law tells the elder what to say and what to do, meanwhile neglecting many of his needs. It is a frustrating situation. Thanks and my appreciation to all.
Idinkido -  
BlueLou'sBack : 7/13/2020 7:04 am : link
If indeed your FIL is planning to live "his remaining years" with his daughter (your wife) and you at some point soon, I would hope you have all the opportunity in the world to aid him in putting his affairs together in prep for his passing.

As for the negligent son in law who controls pop's financial affairs, is it possible he actually does a good job of financial management of the estate, despite his penurious way regarding allowing the father to spend on himself?

Doesn't mean he's not looking for a larger payoff for his services, and is honest to the bone, but are you dealing with any real incompetency here on the part of your brother in law, or mental incompetency on the part of your wife's dad?

If the latter, and you're certain of it, perhaps legal steps can and should be taken to put your step dad's assets under your wife's care, and let her hire an asset manager other than the BIL?

Are you worried that would be insensitive to your FIL?

Family members can get very squirrelly around inheritances, and if you don't 100% trust your BIL, and he's currently handling pop's financial affairs, you can rest assured he'll at least worm himself into your dad's estate's executor, and that will give him plenty of license to finagle the estate's funds significantly in his own favor.

What does your wife's sister think about all this? Is she in the picture too?
Lou: Just got word that he is not coming to us.  
idinkido : 7/13/2020 11:16 am : link
Wife's dad listens to the other sister and son-in-law and they put a stop to it. In terms of how he is being cared for, regretfully there is some care but mostly, neglect. Got great advice from everyone. We are in Florida during a pandemic and there is not much we can do about wife's dad situation. Do not intend to bring it to the attention of any authorities because we feel wife's dad will suffer the consequences.

Attention Avi: Thank you for your message. Got it on my iPhone and when I went to respond back to you lost your whole message. If possible please resend and address it to my e-mail at

Lou: Knew I would get great advice from you. Can't thank you enough.

Everyone: Thank you.
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