NFT: What potential/actual addiction did you avoid/escape from?

In comment 15265631 MadPlaid said:

Quote:

I wish I could say that my parents were purely motivated by looking out for my well being regarding partying. The thing is they were using too. I think to justify their own use, they were a little lenient with me and my siblings. Didn't want to be hypocrites, I suppose. They did emphasize that we had to avoid trouble, and that school was still a priority. They warned us about how easy it was to get in trouble if we over did anything. And, it just so happens that I smoked grass with them too. On many occasions. I guess you can look at it that if I was going to party, and I partied with them, they could keep an eye on us to make certain we weren't getting carried away. Not perfect, but it did make it so I was comfortable to talk with them about my using, and when I knew I needed help, I didn't hesitate to talk with them about it. They were very supportive about getting clean. No stigma whatsoever. pj, I get it. It is a very difficult thing to navigate with our children. I am wary of what it is going to be like when my boy gets there. The only thing I can say is trying to find the balance between caution and tolerance is key. Always letting them know you are there to help is a good thing. No judgement. My Dad told schnitzie if she ever went to a party and she didn't feel safe, to call him. No matter what time, he was going to be there for her. She took advantage of that once, and according to her, Dad greeted her with a big smile and a laugh. He didn't make her feel bad at all for calling him so late at night. He was proud of her for using her head and not getting into real trouble. All the best to you.

Quote:

My Dad told schnitzie if she ever went to a party and she didn't feel safe, to call him. No matter what time, he was going to be there for her. She took advantage of that once, and according to her, Dad greeted her with a big smile and a laugh. He didn't make her feel bad at all for calling him so late at night. He was proud of her for using her head and not getting into real trouble.

Yup, did the same thing with my son. I had him sign that ‘Contract for Life’ which essentially says, that he will call me at ANY TIME during the night and I will pick him up WITHOUT JUDGEMENTS OR LECTURES. But, I reserved the right to discuss it with him a few days later.

Well, one night, he did just that and frankly, I had tears in my eyes, that he upheld the bargain. As did I..We talked about it a few days later.

I didn't invent this, but I've told my kids, if they are ever in any situation, anywhere, and are not comfortable with their surroundings all they have to do is text me the letter "X" and that will tell me to call them and based on how they respond will plan my course of action (pick them up, call police, just talk to them, whatever).

obviously no judgment, my only concern is for their well being, but they have to really trust you to do it.

Fortunately (hopefully, fortunately), I've never gotten an "X" text from my kids, I hope they've never been in a situation where they were not comfortable but also not comfortable reaching out to me.

I also put them on my uber account - actually just put my credit card in to their accounts - and they have used that (both away at college) and sometimes I think it's more a chauffeur service, but at the end of the day, I'll take it vs getting into a car in non ideal situations and they haven't abused it so I trust they're using it judiciously.

that the escape plan for kids is an understood thing parents should have in place. I never had to take advantage of it with my Dad. However, I did one time use it with schnitzie. In my case, it wasn't that I was in an unsafe situation, it was my car broke down somewhere outside of Buffalo after a night out partying in Toronto. Schnitzie came to my rescue all the way from Rochester early in the morning. Picked me and my friends up, bought us breakfast, and laughed at us the whole way home. It was hilarious. Honestly, it was the most fun I ever had at a screw up.

that it sounds like it's from a very special episode of Family Ties:

I tried it with a friend who'd been in rehab and was experiencing a binge. We drove to the Beach Flats in Santa Cruz -- not a wonderful part of town -- and dropped down 80 bucks for, I dunno, some amount of cocaine. We got back to my place, I watched my friend do whatever you do to prepare it to be smoked (I guess turning it into crack?), and we hit the pipe. I observed my friend enter a state that seemed more like simple relief than anything resembling bliss. I myself felt an ascent towards some sort of blissful state but then suddenly stopped this ascent short of such a state. I think we managed two or three more hits, each one failing to deliver me to paradise's door. I remember right there thinking very definitively, "This is simply a tease."

My friend eventually turned into the most desperately persuasive person I've met before or since. He tried to convince me to return to the flats with twice as much money so we could buy twice as much. I told him I didn't have enough in my account and he started trying to convince me to use my parents' credit card. My concern about such a withdrawal that I NEVER make at 1 am from an ATM across town being very hard to explain meant nothing to him. Finally I simply said no, which was a very hard thing for me to say at that particular age and to this particular person. I drive him home instead.

Next morning, he calls me apologizing profusely and telling me that inhumane level of desperation is simply what coke does to him.

That about did it for me for that drug.

full season NFL pool in 1987, then going to Atlantic City alot. Always managed to stay right around even. But then around 1990 i started getting more serious, betting regularly on NFL and the Giants (who kept me afloat in 1990), and on big boxing matches. I started to realize one night in AC that I just wasn't having fun, that playing craps was work. And I wasn't enjoying watching games as much because I was too worried about the spread. I started thinking about my favorite Uncle who was a problem gambler and it ruined his life, so that I just stopped. I don't think most people understand how gambling is as much of an addiction as booze, drugs, smoking or anything else.

Lots of good stories here. Thanks for sharing them everyone.