Need psychological help

I have plenty going on but even as pessimistic as I am about this team, I always hold out some hope. The only viable distraction is that it could be worse. You could have been born under Sharia law, be without health or safety or security. You aren't trying to find your next meal or get through a breakup or a death. You have a great life and a crappy football team, consider yourself lucky in the grand scheme. It can always be worse.

long enough to see them win four Superbowls, even though I was just a boy for SB XXI. Other than the Patriots, few other franchises have been as successful from 1984-2012 as the Giants.

It's been a spiraling shitshow for the last eight years, sure, but taking the long view helps me find a little "serenity now."

No focus today and it hurts 2x as I have some serious deadlines this week.

I'm not sure it'd be any different if they had won, although.

Looking on the bright side, until 2018, I would watch no matter how good or bad they are. Now, if they're winless by October then my fall/winter Sundays become far more productive.

I am usually good at compartmentalizing stuff....if the sports result sucks go to others areas of interest and passion.

While I don't dwell on the game or the team, after any loss, it's like I'm under a dark cloud and just can't see things real well. I trudge through a dreary daily routine. It gets easier as the week goes by and I turn to hopefulness instead (bye weeks suck after a loss).

OTOH after a win, I'm skipping through each day w/ joy in my heart.

For Sunday February through Labor Day, Sundays in the Fall have that special feeling like I am a kid all over again.

When we start losing as we have the last bunch of years I will still watch and try to determine any way we can sneak into the play-offs or if is better to lose for the draft spot....that crap should not be starting in September.

In comment 15364957 D HOS said:

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While I don't dwell on the game or the team, after any loss, it's like I'm under a dark cloud and just can't see things real well. I trudge through a dreary daily routine. It gets easier as the week goes by and I turn to hopefulness instead (bye weeks suck after a loss). OTOH after a win, I'm skipping through each day w/ joy in my heart.

Yes DHos much better toward the end of the week...and waiting 10 days or 2 weeks to get back is painful

and decided not to let sports run my life anymore. Don't exactly know what the nail in the coffin was but I'm thankful for it because it used to be all i cared about. Giants losses would be depressing, UConn losing would be depressing, etc.

My only suggestion is to try and cut out the negative shit (what you read probably being the biggest factor) and try to remind yourself that sports are for children and that adults just happen to make money off of them.

That would make me less passionate, I want to "Hurt" AFTER A LOSS. I just have to learn how to do it in Moderation.

Not caring would not take the place of too much passion for me.

I started to gradually disengage from being a fanatic to merely being interested. I would stop watching live games and play golf on Sunday afternoons or do something else if the weather or schedule did not permit. Amazing how not watching live games helps. I would record the games, watch if they won and delete if they lost. I know it sounds like heresy, but my Sundays were more productive and I missed the agita and commercials. Not a bad trade off. Eventually, you realize that sports are supposed to be entertainment, not a integral part of your self identity. Good luck.

I am heavily invested in the market, if and we have the inevitable corrections I am less bummed about losing freaking money, than I am today. How sick is that?
Reality tells me the market will recover.......

obsessed with the Giants is not having a lot going on and being obsessed with the Giants. Every year I realize that I'm using the Giants (and Rangers) to fill a void in my life. It makes the losses that much worse. Sorry about being a downer.

^^^

This!

I made this "mental / outlook shift" a few years ago (for life in general, not just Giants games) and I'm MUCH happier.


So many things in life you can't control; how you react to them is much more (or totally) in your control.

I get upset on individual plays and feel a little down right after watching the all too frequent losing efforts recently.

Maybe it's because I have such low expectations at this point, but I just don't get upset over Giants losses anymore.

Try it.

In comment 15364967 UConn4523 said:

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and decided not to let sports run my life anymore. Don't exactly know what the nail in the coffin was but I'm thankful for it because it used to be all i cared about. Giants losses would be depressing, UConn losing would be depressing, etc. My only suggestion is to try and cut out the negative shit (what you read probably being the biggest factor) and try to remind yourself that sports are for children and that adults just happen to make money off of them.

Same thing happened some time last year. Just too often Football Sundays we're ruining the end of my weekend/start of work week.

And the feeling, it's like this anxious dread knowing your team sucked (and probably will continue to suck) with no real solution except them winning every single future game, including the Super Bowl. And what if they ever made the SB and lost?

Once you realize what it takes to prevent that crappy feeling from ruining you is impossible, the anxiety is less overwhelming... somewhat.

I also am very busy. I have 2 kids 20 and 17 who I am extremly close with, 2 girlfriends. I invest a ton, relatively big job. Lots of diehard friends some are more family than some of my family. Its all about the Giants though. Always has been for me. From the day I gave myself whiplash in 1978 watching the game by myself (because already by then no one could watch the games with me. I was 8) from the miracle at the meadowlands. Yes my mother took me to the Dr and he thought I had been in a car accident i threw myself on the floor so hard.

There is no escaping it, just know there are others who are with you and in the same spot my friend.

how is it possible..how is it even remotely possible that this team has become this. It's Mara, he is a nice man but has no fire in his belly. the nepotism with his son and nephew having big roles on the football side is disgraceful. The Fucking Giants are much more my team then theirs. His daddy bought the team, hes never had a real job in his pussified entitled fucking life. Dave Gettlemen is the worst GM in football history and he still has a job here. This is nothing short of a complete disgrace.

instead of Daniel Jones we should have montez sweat, instead of anderw thomas we should have justin herbert and instead of kadarius toney we should have chirtian darrislaw. All easy calls btw, Dave Gettlemen never traded down before this year..thats all you need to know about his hubris and ability to understand how to build a winner. I am sick today, nauseous and will be forever I suppose.

In comment 15364984 varco said:

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I started to gradually disengage from being a fanatic to merely being interested. I would stop watching live games and play golf on Sunday afternoons or do something else if the weather or schedule did not permit. Amazing how not watching live games helps. I would record the games, watch if they won and delete if they lost. I know it sounds like heresy, but my Sundays were more productive and I missed the agita and commercials. Not a bad trade off. Eventually, you realize that sports are supposed to be entertainment, not a integral part of your self identity. Good luck.

Thanks varco........Golf, Kayaking, day trips to nearby getaways, concerts, comedy clubs, other hobbies, time with friends and family, great streaming TV, and charity work......but it all revolves around Sundays in the Fall (Or this week Thursday)Thursday at sundown is Yom Kippur most important day for those of us who observe, I will be thinking about 8pm all day long, planned the dinner around the game.

In comment 15365006 bluetothegrave said:

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I also am very busy. I have 2 kids 20 and 17 who I am extremly close with, 2 girlfriends. I invest a ton, relatively big job. Lots of diehard friends some are more family than some of my family. Its all about the Giants though. Always has been for me. From the day I gave myself whiplash in 1978 watching the game by myself (because already by then no one could watch the games with me. I was 8) from the miracle at the meadowlands. Yes my mother took me to the Dr and he thought I had been in a car accident i threw myself on the floor so hard. There is no escaping it, just know there are others who are with you and in the same spot my friend. how is it possible..how is it even remotely possible that this team has become this. It's Mara, he is a nice man but has no fire in his belly. the nepotism with his son and nephew having big roles on the football side is disgraceful. The Fucking Giants are much more my team then theirs. His daddy bought the team, hes never had a real job in his pussified entitled fucking life. Dave Gettlemen is the worst GM in football history and he still has a job here. This is nothing short of a complete disgrace. instead of Daniel Jones we should have montez sweat, instead of anderw thomas we should have justin herbert and instead of kadarius toney we should have chirtian darrislaw. All easy calls btw, Dave Gettlemen never traded down before this year..thats all you need to know about his hubris and ability to understand how to build a winner. I am sick today, nauseous and will be forever I suppose.

Bluetothegrave....if my math is right you are a bit younger than I though no less passionate, how do you feel about these follow posters who say dont take it so seriously?

at least I think you're all guys. Why did you become a Giant fan? Who took you to your first live games? Did you watch games with family when you were a kid?

If the answers to those questions are vivid in your mind you probably have the answer to why something you can't control and really makes zero difference in your life matters so much to you emotionally.

My Father is the answer to all of those questions for me (and uncles and my mother some of the time). All of them are long gone now but when I sit and watch the Giants I get to visit with them. They're still with me and the feelings of what it was like when the Giants lost when I was a kid are the same today. It's the only reason I won't stop watching.

Can you imagine continuing to watch any other TV show for a decade that was as crap as the Giants have been since 2012? Of course not. It's the ghosts. They're in the room on Sundays.

Watching the game yestereday, I am practically ranting at my two Giant-fan friends via text.

They were chuckling back at my reaction and probably harkening back to my many reactions over the years.

I sit down with the best intentions of enjoying the start of a new season only to sit and face the same old same old....the poor OL play, the lack of rhythmic offense, open opposing receivers, the realization that we aren't going to win.........and boom....I am in a bad mood, ask myself why I do this to myself.

But in the end, I will sit there Thursday night feeling the same optimism, hoping to finally see some winning football and actually enjoying the game.

In comment 15364980 NewBlue said:

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That would make me less passionate, I want to "Hurt" AFTER A LOSS. I just have to learn how to do it in Moderation. Not caring would not take the place of too much passion for me.

That's kinda like having your cake and eating it too. You either want sports to effect you or you don't. Not sure there is an in between. I'm still "passionate" in the sense that I find sports very interesting, but losing doesn't really bother me anymore.

In comment 15365017 arniefez said:

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at least I think you're all guys. Why did you become a Giant fan? Who took you to your first live games? Did you watch games with family when you were a kid? If the answers to those questions are vivid in your mind you probably have the answer to why something you can't control and really makes zero difference in your life matters so much to you emotionally. My Father is the answer to all of those questions for me (and uncles and my mother some of the time). All of them are long gone now but when I sit and watch the Giants I get to visit with them. They're still with me and the feelings of what it was like when the Giants lost when I was a kid are the same today. It's the only reason I won't stop watching. Can you imagine continuing to watch any other TV show for a decade that was as crap as the Giants have been since 2012? Of course not. It's the ghosts. They're in the room on Sundays.

Boy did you put your finger on it. My memories of dad taking me to Yankee Stadium and the Goodbye ALLIE CHANTS STILL RINGING IN MY EARS.......It meant so much more to me than I knew at that time.

Bluetothegrave....if my math is right you are a bit younger than I though no less passionate, how do you feel about these follow posters who say dont take it so seriously? [/quote]

I am a bit jealous on one hand and will never understand it on the other my friend. I take it extremely seriously as I know you do as well and its absolutely devastating that the Giants front office doesn't. I guess I say to the people that say don't take it that seriously..good for you at least we have 86,90 , 07 and 11. 4 best 5 week periods in my life hands down without question.

I wonder if losing doesn't bother you anymore, will winning lose its luster?

I think the theory of experiencing the bad makes the good times sweeter.

I like your approach, but I'm not sure I'm ready to potentially give up the sweetness.

1986 - 14-2, SB Champs, opened the season with a loss to Dallas, who went 6-9 after that game.

2007 - SB Champs, went 0-2 to start the season, outscored by a ton, didn't look good.

2011 - SB Champs, opening loss to Washington by two touchdowns, same team that went 4-11 the rest of the way.




If you believed in Joe Judge to begin with, give him a chance to do what he says he does, teach, correct, and help players and units improve performance.

Anyway, not much else to hold on to, that's all I got for you after yesterday...

In comment 15365028 bluetothegrave said:

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Bluetothegrave....if my math is right you are a bit younger than I though no less passionate, how do you feel about these follow posters who say dont take it so seriously?

I am a bit jealous on one hand and will never understand it on the other my friend. I take it extremely seriously as I know you do as well and its absolutely devastating that the Giants front office doesn't. I guess I say to the people that say don't take it that seriously..good for you at least we have 86,90 , 07 and 11. 4 best 5 week periods in my life hands down without question. [/quote]

I know, and I had the good fortune of being at The Rose Bowl (The best) The Whitney Houston wide right Scott Norwood, and with my son in Phoenix for the Tyree game. I did not get to go to the Indianapolis win (Brandon Jacobs nearly screwing that up, or the Ravens blow out)

But with me it is a bit of what have you done for me lately.

I would have been better off if they lost like they lost most games last year....defense played fine, OL couldn't protect, DJ makes game ending turnover....ball game.

But it really irritates me that on paper, this defense looks great, and they played so lousy yesterday.

In comment 15365026 NewBlue said:
[quote] In comment 15365017 arniefez said:


Quote:


at least I think you're all guys. Why did you become a Giant fan? Who took you to your first live games? Did you watch games with family when you were a kid?

If the answers to those questions are vivid in your mind you probably have the answer to why something you can't control and really makes zero difference in your life matters so much to you emotionally.

My Father is the answer to all of those questions for me (and uncles and my mother some of the time). All of them are long gone now but when I sit and watch the Giants I get to visit with them. They're still with me and the feelings of what it was like when the Giants lost when I was a kid are the same today. It's the only reason I won't stop watching.

Can you imagine continuing to watch any other TV show for a decade that was as crap as the Giants have been since 2012? Of course not. It's the ghosts. They're in the room on Sundays.
---------------------------------------
This is absolutely beautiful. A little tear in my eye for you. Your story is much more poignant than mine. My dad was a NY sports fan and a pretty big Giant fan. He owned a pharmacy in Jackson heights and he was the druggist for the mets and the yanks. Gene Monahan and Tom Mckenna used to get us great seats to the Mets and Yanks. We watched football on Sundays but he liked the Giants and the Jets. It was 1977 it was the green of the field and the blue of the Giants..and that defense Harry carson, Brian Kelly and Brad Van Pelt. I can't explain what happened. It was and is love in it's complete and utter despair and folly. Even with holding call after holding call in a terrible loss to the Atlanta falcons I fell in love right there. I also loved Doug Kotar and Gary Shirk.

I have become much more apathetic. Losses used to ruin my Mondays. Now? Oh well.

Do not come to BBI to commiserate. Do not engage on game threads. If you must, there are a handful of posters that are realistic in assessing the game. Biteymax22 and hitdog42 are two off the top of my head with a couple others.

Stay away until Tuesday or Wednesday.

...but with losing so much, sadly I am becoming numb to it.

To quote Gene Mauch, "someone is going to pay for this" (he said this in reference to a losing streak).

I'm just not sure when that payback is going to actually start.

your old friend BCD (boxing coach don) obtw boxing opening back up in Jan...hopefully

In comment 15365048 SFGFNCGiantsFan said:

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I have become much more apathetic. Losses used to ruin my Mondays. Now? Oh well.

Same here.

I feel for all you guys that are going to really hate life Friday morning after the skins embarrass us on national TV.

In comment 15365051 section125 said:

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Do not come to BBI to commiserate. Do not engage on game threads. If you must, there are a handful of posters that are realistic in assessing the game. Biteymax22 and hitdog42 are two off the top of my head with a couple others. Stay away until Tuesday or Wednesday.

I would agree. I've taken a step back myself - the amount of people basking in misery is a turnoff. The term "venting" is used to explain that but I don't buy it with the loudest of posters - they enjoy it and I don't like being a part of it. This board is as toxic as it gets after a loss, heck, sometimes even after a win.

if they lose the next two games - then I am in agony with you - but I think this particular game must be shrugged off as an aberration

In comment 15365059 UConn4523 said:

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In comment 15365051 section125 said: Quote: Do not come to BBI to commiserate. Do not engage on game threads. If you must, there are a handful of posters that are realistic in assessing the game. Biteymax22 and hitdog42 are two off the top of my head with a couple others. Stay away until Tuesday or Wednesday. I would agree. I've taken a step back myself - the amount of people basking in misery is a turnoff. The term "venting" is used to explain that but I don't buy it with the loudest of posters - they enjoy it and I don't like being a part of it. This board is as toxic as it gets after a loss, heck, sometimes even after a win.

There was someone in the post game thread telling another poster to “blow me”

back when they lost to Seattle in the playoffs on a frosty cold Minnesota day in the old stadium because their kicker missed a 20 yard field goal.....he walked about a mile to a bridge that goes over a railroad track.

He used to spend time just staring from the bridge at the railroad track when he would think about his future or other things to contemplate.

Then the visits to the bridge started to be replaced by times of solitude to get over horrendous Viking losses.

Never to actually jump, but a place to be alone to wonder why he cared so much.

Lately I have been wishing for the same type of bridge because our losses over the years have been just as crushing;- Miracle in the Meadowlands, Flipper Anderson, DeSean Jackson's punt return, etc.......

I need a bridge.

and minimizes the problems of people with real psychological problems have, like Jets fans.

In comment 15365071 GiantBlue said:

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back when they lost to Seattle in the playoffs on a frosty cold Minnesota day in the old stadium because their kicker missed a 20 yard field goal.....he walked about a mile to a bridge that goes over a railroad track. He used to spend time just staring from the bridge at the railroad track when he would think about his future or other things to contemplate. Then the visits to the bridge started to be replaced by times of solitude to get over horrendous Viking losses. Never to actually jump, but a place to be alone to wonder why he cared so much. Lately I have been wishing for the same type of bridge because our losses over the years have been just as crushing;- Miracle in the Meadowlands, Flipper Anderson, DeSean Jackson's punt return, etc....... I need a bridge.

Hey buddy.....lots of bridges in NY, misery loves company

We are Jets fans now -- the Jets and the Giants have merged -- and are now the GiaJets

my life has meaning. I am blessed with a great family and great circle of close friends. I don't want much, don't need anything really. Good job. Great wife and kid. I look up every day and thank the universe and appreciate every thing I have.

And I am fucking miserable. I've never been in a better place really, but the Giants just won't cooperate and give their desperate fans even just a hollow winning regular season. Not even asking for postseason glory, but we can't even ask for 17-20 wins over a 2 years period, just something to distract us from all the losing, even if it's fake or short lived. Nope, just lose, a lot, and then lose some more.

When my life was shit, the Giants were at their best. I guess I can't have it both ways.

In comment 15365073 markky said:

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and minimizes the problems of people with real psychological problems have, like Jets fans.

Markky.....Until I read the last 3 words on that post I thought this was a "Karen" post

In comment 15365081 djm said:

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my life has meaning. I am blessed with a great family and great circle of close friends. I don't want much, don't need anything really. Good job. Great wife and kid. I look up every day and thank the universe and appreciate every thing I have. And I am fucking miserable. I've never been in a better place really, but the Giants just won't cooperate and give their desperate fans even just a hollow winning regular season. Not even asking for postseason glory, but we can't even ask for 17-20 wins over a 2 years period, just something to distract us from all the losing, even if it's fake or short lived. Nope, just lose, a lot, and then lose some more. When my life was shit, the Giants were at their best. I guess I can't have it both ways.

Not wanting a pity party but I am happier knowing that I am not the only Nut Job out here.
For those of you good guys like UConn and SFNCGiant, good for you that you found a way...it is just not my way

In comment 15365081 djm said:

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my life has meaning. I am blessed with a great family and great circle of close friends. I don't want much, don't need anything really. Good job. Great wife and kid. I look up every day and thank the universe and appreciate every thing I have. And I am fucking miserable. I've never been in a better place really, but the Giants just won't cooperate and give their desperate fans even just a hollow winning regular season. Not even asking for postseason glory, but we can't even ask for 17-20 wins over a 2 years period, just something to distract us from all the losing, even if it's fake or short lived. Nope, just lose, a lot, and then lose some more. When my life was shit, the Giants were at their best. I guess I can't have it both ways.

djm........do your friends and family know of your malady?
Do they think you are nuts?

A Giants' loss used to have me pissed off for most of the week until I slapped myself in the head and said this is nuts. Does it look like the players were pissed off? Hell no. They still get to play a game for a living and make a million dollars a year or more doing it.

Caring like we do is what makes it so much fun.

When the Giants win, the coffee taste better, I enjoy the other games and sports talk during the week more, reveling in the victory.

I anticipate the next game even more, all aspects of life are just done with a bit more joy.

Because winning is a so rewarding, losing hurts I ve never allowed it to impact my relationships or my professional life. But no doubt it hurts when they lose, and I wouldn’t have it any other way

They certainly used to....when I was in my 20's, a Giant loss on Sunday would make for an awful Monday through Friday. Luckily this was in the 80's so I had a lot of pretty good weeks for the most part:). But now, in my late 50's...I just refuse to let a poor performance by a football team of which I am not a part of determine how my life is going to be. If I was ON the team might be different, but I have no control over the situation...nothing that I do can change their performance, so why get upset about it?? Its a game which I love, but thats as far as it goes. Im finally reached that point where, if they win, fantastic, if they lose, well, hope they play better next week. On with life.

Unless your livelihood depends on wins, why get so wrapped up in the game results? Sure, maybe you work for the Giants, or your business directly benefits from a win, or your kid plays for them. Maybe a win means you achieve something more than just internal satisfaction that "your" team won the game (your team? what does that even mean?).

Yeah, I used to be emotionally affected by wins and losses; been a fan since the early 70s, and all the downs, ups, and downs since then. After a while it became very evident to me that a win or a loss wasn't worth the emotional investment I was giving it. A win didn't pay me anything, and a loss didn't cost me anything. None of the players or coaches meant anything to me (and I meant nothing to them).. they were simply characters on the TV screen or down there on the field wearing the helmet that I liked. Why care so much, especially since I had no ability to affect the outcome? I didn't do anything to help the Giants win.. so why did I care so much if they didn't?

In addition, the game has changed. The league has changed. Games are much less fun.. way too many injuries, egos, commercials. Announcers aren't entertaining anymore (how cool was Pat Summerall?), and the league forces us to listen to political and social commentary. Is that fun for anyone?

Once I realized all this and turned the corner, the emotional stresses of wins and losses diminished significantly.

because I am pumped up and more excited to discuss the team.

Over the years, I've gotten so used to the Giants losing that it's tough for it to bother me. There's still terrible (for sports) events that'll throw me off, but it's usually more the offseason stuff that I know prolongs the agony or close losses that actually matter. Two examples are the Eagles swiping Devonta Smith after trading with the Cowboys, or the Rangers trading Buchnechiv for nothing.

The team sucks so much that I'm so used to it and numb to it. The Giants suck, they've sucked since he second half of 2012 except for one season. It's hard to give much of a shit anymore about losses at this point, for me at least.

Losses don't bother me as much. But all freaking losing during our current era of sucking is really hard to take.

Otherwise just check the score and tune it out. Find something relaxing to do on Sundays away from all electronics.