NFT: Long Term Care Facility Search

First, I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through and understand the stress you are under. I’m caring for my wife with Stage IV CRC while also Maintaining my job and caring for our 11 yr old daughter. Take care of yourself, you have a a lot,of people counting on you, taking care of yourself physically and emotionally is important (I neglected myself for two years and am working back health wise).

Second, I have worked in LTC for 22 years after going that route while watching my grandmother succumb to Alz. I would start your search at www.placeformom.com. Medicare.gov also has a listing of all nursing homes and their CMS rating. This is one of the most important parts, shoot for 5 star ratings, you will be able to read their full surveys to better understand the level of and quality of care. Happy to help you outside of BBI too. I live in Orlando, but grew up in Lincroft, NJ.

I wish you the best on your journey and know you are not alone.

I wish you the best. Seems like good advice above.

I am sorry you are going through this as I went through this with my dad for almost 7 years starting when he had moderate dementia which grew worse until his passing last fall. I am in Monmouth county and initially started at a very good assisted living facility in Middletown. Eventually he progressed to needed the highest level of care there in a few years in their memory care unit. Last year it got to a point he needed even greater care and transferred him to Bayside Manor in Keansburg. The place is beautiful and the care was extraordinarily and the staff compassionate beyond belief. It is family owned and they put people above profits. I strongly recommend checking them out and sorry you are going through this. It is a very difficult process.

Depending on finances, a part time of full time home health aide could be a better route Patients do better in their own surroundings
In mid 1990s my dad would take me to his financial advisor for meeting
One day he bought this full bells and whistles LTC policy. 20 yrs later, 4 yrs in a ltc facility with AZ. Policy paid out like 450k. He told me at that time this would be the best thing he ever did for me
He wasn’t kidding. Good luck and Godspeed.

where my wife will most likely need to go from short term rehab to a long term facility. My wife refuses to eat because chemo made her hate all food. She wants to do all of the things that your wife won't, but is getting too weak to do them. She actually fell in the bathroom this weekend.

One other thing that the facility social worker told me is to see an elder care lawyer, which I have scheduled. The lawyer can save your retirement money and your house from going out to pay for everything.

In comment 15780981 cuty suzuki said:

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where my wife will most likely need to go from short term rehab to a long term facility. My wife refuses to eat because chemo made her hate all food. She wants to do all of the things that your wife won't, but is getting too weak to do them. She actually fell in the bathroom this weekend. One other thing that the facility social worker told me is to see an elder care lawyer, which I have scheduled. The lawyer can save your retirement money and your house from going out to pay for everything.

Make sure you retain a lawyer who is “certified” as an elder law attorney. Keep in mind that NJ has very stringent laws on hiding assets for purposes of qualifying for Medicaid. Also, many facilities will have you guarantee 2 full years of private pay before accepting you into the facility.

For you and your family Hammer.

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Thru this with my mom. Just was back in n.y. Visiting 4 different assisted living places that specialize in memory care. We were told by the person who talked to us at the 1 st place to look around. Great advice. Out of 4 we narrowed it down to 2. Make sure that they are willing to take wife until death. You don’t want to have to move her again.
My sister received a list of places from the Alzheimer’s association. I would also suggest for you to go to care givers group meetings. Took my dad and it was therapeutic knowing he’s not the only one. Great no and networking.

There are numerous 'chain' elder care/long term care facilities in Central Jersey. Sunrise is a large one. They have multiple facilities. Parker House in another - the facility in Monroe is excellent. One bit of advice that worked out for my family with my father - if a facility is full and you like it, go on the waiting list. Choose the best available but be prepared and willing to move you're loved one if the situation changes.

If Ocean County isn't too far south there is a place called The Terraces in Little Egg Harbor Twp./ Tuckerton. My Mother spent her last couple years there and we ( my sisters and I ) couldn't have been happier with that place.Everything you could hope for in a facility. Staff was awesome, different activities every day for all levels of need. My mother was always safe, clean and well fed. Wish you luck.

about the same length of time and finnally realized she needed more than I could handle.Looking for a facility is tough because you want her to be properly cared for..There are so many things you have to look at so take your time.

I showed up for a tour unannounced around noon time when the attendant’s were busy and insisted to look around.Most look great from the outside but it’s what goes on in the inside that counts and how they handle and care for the patients..I had my daughter sneak a peek into a patients room to check the bathroom out to make sure it was clean.

Good luck in your search and make a list of all the questions you may have about the facility and the care. one place turned me off was they left Patients outside to take in some sun unattended,
One other was a attendant sitting in a chair reading a paper with a cigarette dangling from her lips while supposedly watching patients

I don't know if they are in NJ, but Sunrise facilities are excellent. My mom is in one on Long Island, and my father in law was in one here in CT. Both really good places but for different things. Mom in the memory care, FIL in the assisted living. He had no issues other than aging.

Good luck with the search.

my wife's uncle. Does NJ have a senior ombudsman office? they may help you get started.

In the latter's case, we were connected with a consultant that helped us find an appropriate setting. Not sure his official title, but his fees were paid by the facility. At the height of COVID, he was a life saver.

Finances are going to be a big issue.... You will need to protect your assets, especially with a minor daughter.

Best of luck and take care of yourself.

Has to be so tough. Best wishes to you.

I went through this with my dad years back and now currently with my mom. Proper staffing level at these places is a big issue currently. Make sure you ask the directors of prospective places about the current level of their staff and any issues they are having. We have my mom at a very nice place currently in bergen county and they have to rely on external agencies for coverage.

I said a prayer for you and your family and I really hope it works out as best as it can.

I do a lot of work in Skilled Nursing / Assisted living in the tri-state area - mostly in NYC / Long Island, but I have personal experience with the Christian Health Care Center in Wyckoff (likely too far for you), and I've also heard good things about Reformed Church Home in Old Bridge. Despite the religious affiliation, most, if not all are non-denominational.

Best of luck to you and your family. Stay strong.

for your advice and kind thoughts.

Everything here will be helpful to start.