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NFT: Holiday tipping question

pjcas18 : 11/15/2023 10:03 am
[kind of long- sorry] everyone's favorite topic, lol. tipping in general is a lightning rod, but add in the holidays and it gets even worse.

Here is my dilemma.

I have tipped my trash guy $100 for Christmas the past few years (which for our neighborhood is well above average) $20 - $25 and/or a Dunkin gift card are the norm for the people who tip at all - half the people give nothing. Trash pick up in my town is nothing special. They pick up trash weekly and have strict regulations about how many trash cans we can have and how they need to be situated, and what we can and cannot include, etc. Many of my neighbors who do not follow the rules get various trash items left behind every week. Even one neighbor who seems like they are following the rules, sometimes gets shit left at the curb and it's hilarious because the guy is kind of a dick.

My trash guy has gone above and beyond for us since i became friendly with him. I could throw out all kinds of contraband. large electronics, metal, left over paint, fertilizer, yard waste, he has even helped me haul some of it out of the garage. I slip him a $20 bill on those occasions, but also feel like Christmas he should be rewarded. I'm convinced I could leave a body out there at the street and he'd just load it in the truck like it was normal trash. I definitely get special treatment. Or I did.

This year our town switched waste management companies but kept the drivers, so he's still my trash guy but the new company is very strict. All the trucks have continual video surveillance. No way to disable it. He needs to basically now treat us like every other house (except the one neighbor - he still gets properly treated like a dick).

So, given the fact he's not going above and beyond for me in any way anymore, do I still give him $100? I don't think I can go back now and it's not really his fault, but at the same time while $50 or the difference between whatever I would give him isn't going to have an impact on my life, is there a principle involved of why give him $100 for basically nothing?

My sense is just keep giving him the $100, but would like others to comment to make sure my judgment is sound on this.

I know the collective wisdom of BBI will have thoughts on this.
.  
Danny Kanell : 11/15/2023 10:06 am : link
I would give him the $100.
I know this is more common than I was aware of...  
BillKo : 11/15/2023 10:16 am : link
...as many people tip trash people, mailperson, etc.

However, I have never tipped any of these people.
pjcas18  
NYG27 : 11/15/2023 10:17 am : link
Need more info before giving a proper answer.

First, on the old waste management company, when you tipped him $100, how many people were on the dump truck? For example in my neighborhood, it's usually one driver and two guys who load the trash into the truck. So in theory, if he shared the tip, each of them would get $33.33 each. With the new waste management company, do they still have the same amount of people servicing the truck? Is it less people than before, which usually occurs when there is a change of waste management company's?

Second, has the guy refused to pick up a certain item that he would have normally picked up in the past? How did that interaction go, did he explain about the camera's and unable to provide you the services he did in the past?
I'm curious to see what others will say  
BronxBob : 11/15/2023 10:18 am : link
I think I'd probably wind up giving him the same, as long as I could afford it. It's sort of a tough call, though, given your circumstances.
I've been in the same apartment for 20+ years. For the holidays, I tip my Super and his main assistant. The Super gets $100+ depending on my finances and the assistant gets maybe a third to half of that amount. I never know when this might pay off for me, but it definitely has, usually when I'd like to get something done ASAP -- like getting a new air conditioner (that I buy) installed!
If I put myself in this situation, I know I wouldn't want to go back  
aimrocky : 11/15/2023 10:19 am : link
so I would continue on with the $100. My dilemma would be whether I tell my wife or not. She can be very stingy and does not care for social pressures, so she would regurgitate back to me every point you made against tipping the $100.

So, my solution would be to zip my lip and pay it without anyone knowing, besides BBI of course.

Years ago I made the mistake of following her lead and started a fight with a good contractor over his inability to properly itemize an invoice. Now we can't use the guy because of the awkwardness. I learned my lesson from that. I deal directly with the vendor and "go to the bank" only when I need to.
That’s really generous of you pj.  
Section331 : 11/15/2023 10:19 am : link
I think $50 is probably more than he gets from anyone else, but he may feel that you’re punishing him for his company’s policies.
Good questions  
pjcas18 : 11/15/2023 10:23 am : link
NYG27

Aimrocky - I own tipping, I love my wife and she's great at so many things, but tipping is not one of them.

NYG27 - one driver and that's it both waste management companies have modern trucks with an "arm" that comes out and wraps around the trash can picks it up and empties it. So it's always been one driver.

And now basically we have an understanding if I can fit it in a black trash bag (in a trash can) he'll take it, but it used to be much easier for me. He did leave a metal bed frame out at the street that he would have taken in the past.

I'm going to stick with the $100.

Appreciate the replies
Give him the $100  
DonQuixote : 11/15/2023 10:26 am : link
Not a close call to me. He probably has a crappier boss now and needs the money more than ever. If the person is thankful, they are more likely to make things better for you within their ability to do so.
RE: I know this is more common than I was aware of...  
aimrocky : 11/15/2023 10:29 am : link
In comment 16289895 BillKo said:
Quote:
...as many people tip trash people, mailperson, etc.

However, I have never tipped any of these people.


I think you tip if it merrit's tipping, like the situation pjcas described. If I was getting preferential treatment, I would tip appropriately. Unfortunately, in this situation the driver has no control over the policy changes that were made, but I would still have a hard time going back to $0.

The only person I tip is our UPS driver, because he's very careful with our deliveries and would always bring them to a preferred spot, despite us having a very large dog who was not a fan of his.

In the past 18 months, that dog has passed away and was replaced with a much more friendly dog, although still very large and intimidating, and our UPS driver is no longer on our route. He was replaced by a younger guy, who's very much a dick. If our pup is outside at all, the driver will sit at the bottom of the driveway beeping at us. If we don't come out immediately, he'll leave the package on the street. He's also gone as far as calling my 8 year old son over to take the package up for him. I've contemplated calling the UPS hub and complain about this driver, but I fear that it will open me up for liability, should the driver complain about anything. Needless to say, our days of tipping UPS are over.
the resulting awkwardness,  
Enzo : 11/15/2023 10:31 am : link
even if it's only in your own head, is not worth the difference between the usual $100 and whatever the new amount might be.
"It's not tipping I believe in, it's over-tipping."  
Victor in CT : 11/15/2023 10:38 am : link
Vincent Antonelli aka Todd Wilkinson from My Blue Heaven.
RE: Good questions  
NYG27 : 11/15/2023 10:43 am : link
In comment 16289913 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
NYG27

Aimrocky - I own tipping, I love my wife and she's great at so many things, but tipping is not one of them.

NYG27 - one driver and that's it both waste management companies have modern trucks with an "arm" that comes out and wraps around the trash can picks it up and empties it. So it's always been one driver.

And now basically we have an understanding if I can fit it in a black trash bag (in a trash can) he'll take it, but it used to be much easier for me. He did leave a metal bed frame out at the street that he would have taken in the past.

I'm going to stick with the $100.

Appreciate the replies


I under wanting to stick with the $100, mostly as a way to not punish him for switching waste management companies.

Although another way to think of it, let's say this situation was going to a favorite restaurant and having a waitress who you got to know. She provided great service every single time that you and your family arrived and went beyond the call to ensure your family had a great time each visit. In this scenario, you tipped her beyond the normal rate around 30% of the bill on each visit, perhaps more during the holidays as a way to say thank you.

Now that same restaurant went under a new management change but she still works there. The new management team is stricter in their policies and now she's responsible to wait on more tables. Doing so, she's unable to give you and your family the same level of excellent service she did in the past. She does a decent job of taking your order, bringing your food but because she has more responsibilities under new management and more tables to focus on, you don't get that same level of service and special service as you did in the past.

Question I have, in that scenario, you still tip her the same 30% or more you did in the past or would you adjust it to 20-25% for the basic service that she is now providing you?
I live in Eastern PA and on a block in a rural area..........  
GiantBlue : 11/15/2023 10:48 am : link
Here is what I typically tip:

Mailman- We have had the same mailman for years and he happens to live two blocks away and is friendly with me and my neighbors. He walks his dog down our block and if I am out, we chat for several minutes about the families, life, etc.

I tip him $50 every Christmas. My neighbors who share told me they typically tip him $20 to $50.

Lawn Guy- My lawn cutter/fertilizer guy owns his own business and works alone. He is amazing. Very consistent and charges a fair price. I send him $100 cash every Christmas.

Garbage Guys: We used to have steady eddy folks who picked up the trash year in year out and I would tip them $20 each. However, during COVID, they lost a lot of their workers and I would see all kinds of different folks throughout the year. Now they are down to one pick-up per week (from two) and it can be any body. So I am not sure I will tip this year simply because there hasn't been any consistency.

Saving $40 there will probably increase my tips to the mailman to $65 and Lawn guy $125.


RE: RE: Good questions  
Matt123 : 11/15/2023 11:56 am : link
In comment 16289947 NYG27 said:
Quote:
In comment 16289913 pjcas18 said:


Quote:


NYG27

Aimrocky - I own tipping, I love my wife and she's great at so many things, but tipping is not one of them.

NYG27 - one driver and that's it both waste management companies have modern trucks with an "arm" that comes out and wraps around the trash can picks it up and empties it. So it's always been one driver.

And now basically we have an understanding if I can fit it in a black trash bag (in a trash can) he'll take it, but it used to be much easier for me. He did leave a metal bed frame out at the street that he would have taken in the past.

I'm going to stick with the $100.

Appreciate the replies



I under wanting to stick with the $100, mostly as a way to not punish him for switching waste management companies.

Although another way to think of it, let's say this situation was going to a favorite restaurant and having a waitress who you got to know. She provided great service every single time that you and your family arrived and went beyond the call to ensure your family had a great time each visit. In this scenario, you tipped her beyond the normal rate around 30% of the bill on each visit, perhaps more during the holidays as a way to say thank you.

Now that same restaurant went under a new management change but she still works there. The new management team is stricter in their policies and now she's responsible to wait on more tables. Doing so, she's unable to give you and your family the same level of excellent service she did in the past. She does a decent job of taking your order, bringing your food but because she has more responsibilities under new management and more tables to focus on, you don't get that same level of service and special service as you did in the past.

Question I have, in that scenario, you still tip her the same 30% or more you did in the past or would you adjust it to 20-25% for the basic service that she is now providing you?


Your waitress scenario seems totally different to me. In this scenario, the level of service received is going down because she's providing more service to other people, and in doing so, will receive tips from the additional tables. Therefore, I'd be fine tipping less.

Tipping mailman?  
VTChuck : 11/15/2023 12:16 pm : link
I thought there are limits on tipping USPS employees.

Pretty modest amount…. Like less than $20 in value
Yeah you have...  
Chris in Philly : 11/15/2023 12:20 pm : link
to stick with the $100. It's not his fault the new company sucks. And all the favors he did in the past merit continuation of the tips. The good karma will come back another way than him tossing a dead body...
RE: Tipping mailman?  
Chris in Philly : 11/15/2023 12:20 pm : link
In comment 16290114 VTChuck said:
Quote:
I thought there are limits on tipping USPS employees.

Pretty modest amount…. Like less than $20 in value


If you are a mailman, are you returning something over $20?
......  
Route 9 : 11/15/2023 1:11 pm : link
Give him $50 and if he starts bitching or makes a face, it goes down to $0.

I have a pet peeve with gratitude. I've pulled some petty shit with people at the workplace who do not show the proper etiquette when I help them out lol I love being immature it's fun
RE: Yeah you have...  
pjcas18 : 11/15/2023 2:05 pm : link
In comment 16290121 Chris in Philly said:
Quote:
to stick with the $100. It's not his fault the new company sucks. And all the favors he did in the past merit continuation of the tips. The good karma will come back another way than him tossing a dead body...


very true and this is where I landed, but...it's nice to know you have that guy who would help you get rid of a body.


lol
RE: Yeah you have...  
Larry in Pencilvania : 11/15/2023 2:14 pm : link
In comment 16290121 Chris in Philly said:
Quote:
to stick with the $100. It's not his fault the new company sucks. And all the favors he did in the past merit continuation of the tips. The good karma will come back another way than him tossing a dead body...


You may need to dispose of that dead body so don't burn bridges
RE: RE: Yeah you have...  
Chris in Philly : 11/15/2023 2:23 pm : link
In comment 16290300 Larry in Pencilvania said:
Quote:
In comment 16290121 Chris in Philly said:


Quote:


to stick with the $100. It's not his fault the new company sucks. And all the favors he did in the past merit continuation of the tips. The good karma will come back another way than him tossing a dead body...



You may need to dispose of that dead body so don't burn bridges


Well, yeah. You always need a guy...
RE: ......  
pjcas18 : 11/15/2023 2:23 pm : link
In comment 16290222 Route 9 said:
Quote:
Give him $50 and if he starts bitching or makes a face, it goes down to $0.

I have a pet peeve with gratitude. I've pulled some petty shit with people at the workplace who do not show the proper etiquette when I help them out lol I love being immature it's fun


he's definitely grateful. My trash day is Thursdays and one year because of when Christmas fell it was like the 22nd when I gave him his tip (not sure why maybe I had some work travel on the 15th and the 8th seemed to early - but it seemed like more than just me who waited) and the topic of Christmas gifts and family came up and he just casually mentioned he had a lot of work to do in buying gifts for his kids because with the timing his tips came later this year and he relies on them to be able to have a nice Christmas for them. He seemed very humble and glad to receive anything.
Interesting . .  
haper : 11/15/2023 5:07 pm : link
Did you start tipping him $100 in order to gain preferential treatment, were you looking to get rid of a dead body or planned to in the future or were you trying to one-up the neighbors, especially the one that is a dick?

I guess it doesn't matter, although they are all very good reasons, bc I'd continue w tipping the $100. It's difficult to go against precedence.
Yeah, it's still gotta be $100  
Sky King : 11/15/2023 7:39 pm : link
You've made that bed, now you have to sleep in it.
It would be crappy to not give him what you’ve  
steve in ky : 11/15/2023 8:31 pm : link
Given him for years, a guy you have “become friendly” with for something out of his control just because it doesn’t benefit you as much as it did.

Go with your instinct and give him the same $100 gift you’ve always given him
RE: RE: I know this is more common than I was aware of...  
Ron from Ninerland : 11/15/2023 11:24 pm : link
In comment 16289918 aimrocky said:
Quote:
In comment 16289895 BillKo said:


Quote:


...as many people tip trash people, mailperson, etc.

However, I have never tipped any of these people.



I think you tip if it merrit's tipping, like the situation pjcas described. If I was getting preferential treatment, I would tip appropriately. Unfortunately, in this situation the driver has no control over the policy changes that were made, but I would still have a hard time going back to $0.

The only person I tip is our UPS driver, because he's very careful with our deliveries and would always bring them to a preferred spot, despite us having a very large dog who was not a fan of his.

In the past 18 months, that dog has passed away and was replaced with a much more friendly dog, although still very large and intimidating, and our UPS driver is no longer on our route. He was replaced by a younger guy, who's very much a dick. If our pup is outside at all, the driver will sit at the bottom of the driveway beeping at us. If we don't come out immediately, he'll leave the package on the street. He's also gone as far as calling my 8 year old son over to take the package up for him. I've contemplated calling the UPS hub and complain about this driver, but I fear that it will open me up for liability, should the driver complain about anything. Needless to say, our days of tipping UPS are over.
How is this UPS guy being a dick ? I've had dogs myself albeit small ones, but he's perfectly within his rights not to approach a large dog you've left outside. It least he's honking his horn. He'd be well within his rights just to leave a notice that your package was undeliverable.
Holiday tipping is always confusing to me  
Sean : 11/16/2023 6:31 am : link
For my garbage pickup, there is the driver of the truck and two people on the back of the truck collecting the garbage. If I were to tip, would that be $20 per person? It reminds me of the Curb episode where Larry gives the tip to the worker and tells him to split it with the other guy and never did.
I think you stick with the $100...  
moze1021 : 11/17/2023 4:09 pm : link
It's very generous though... but like you said, not his fault that he can't give you the excellent service he used to.


Another takeaway here...

Other's have issues with the wife being stingy with tipping too!? I thought it was just me.. haha

Every time I am in doubt, I try to tip something. I think "what would me dad do?". He passed away 13 years ago but always tipped guys, even though we didnt have a lot of money growing up.
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