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More noise about rift between Dabs and Wink

KingBlue : 11/30/2023 8:45 am
Two more reporters, confirm rift between Martindale and Daboll.

Mike Sando of The Athletic reports that Daboll’s use of the “Patriots Way” behind closed doors is what has led to a falling out with defensive coordinator Wink Martindale, despite what they and the players would have you believe.

“Daboll learned from Bill and Nick, and we all remember Nick undressing Lane Kiffin and Daboll himself at Alabama,” a veteran coach who knows members of the Giants’ staff told Sando. “A guy as established as Wink says, ‘You can yell at the young coaches, but not me.'”


ESPN’s Jordan Raanan, while appearing on the latest episode of Talkin’ Giants, also acknowledged a rift between Daboll and Martindale.

“This is just my opinion on this but he gets on Wink and he gets on him hard. He’s all over him,” Raanan said. “When you’re on this guy and you’re riding him hard, and you’re crushing his defense and questioning the things he’s doing, and the guy is looking across to the other side and he’s like, ‘Your offense is 32nd in the league. We can’t even move the ball. . . And you’re sitting here MFing me and giving me a hard time.’ That’s how the tension builds and that’s why we’re at where we’re at.”

Raanan also reports that others have acknowledged that Daboll is a “hard guy to work for.” “That is something that’s come out,” Raanan said. “I got a text yesterday from somebody out of complete nowhere that said (that).”

The bottom line here is that when Jay Glazer reports something, you can take that something to the bank. The issues between Daboll and Martindale are very real and it will come to a head sooner rather than later.



Wink and Dabs - ( New Window )
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...  
ryanmkeane : 11/30/2023 11:35 am : link
This is also a product of what happens during a shitty season. NY media will stop at nothing to keep bringing up a story in the midst of a losing season, even if its half correct.
If true, then Wink will lose this battle.  
Gruber : 11/30/2023 11:36 am : link
The Giants shot out the gate to a 2-8 record and the defense played a part in that.
Same as with Daniel Jones, I don't see the rest of the NFL quaking at the thought of facing a Wink Martindale defense.
I'm not sure why...  
Chris in Philly : 11/30/2023 11:44 am : link
thinking this is ridiculous means we are doubting Lord Glazer. I for one don't doubt people don't like to be yelled at. But who the fuck is Wink Martindale to pull the "I'm such hot shit you can't yell at me" card?
Not wishing for it, but Daboll is headed for his first heart attack  
Ivan15 : 11/30/2023 11:45 am : link
And that is going to mellow him out.
Maybe Daboll  
bronxboy : 11/30/2023 11:55 am : link
needs to look in a mirror and yell at himself.
RE: Why is this so hard to believe for some people  
UConn4523 : 11/30/2023 12:08 pm : link
In comment 16308474 JoeyBigBlue said:
Quote:
Glazer is very tied into the Giants organization and has been a reputable source for years. Plus a ton of best writers are coming out with the same speculation. Daboll also has a history of not having strained relationships. It’s not hard to connect the dots.


It isn’t. Doesn’t make his take on things gospel though. And what’s being reported anyway, that Wino may not be here next year? I think that was obvious after the horrific start, same for Kafka. And I think that’s my point, the reports seem to be embellishing what’s already fairly obvious. Making it seem like Wink is about to fight Daboll is unnecessary.
_____________  
I am Ninja : 11/30/2023 12:11 pm : link
When are these guys gonna learn that there's two guys that can act like Bill Belichick: 1) Bill Belichick and 2) Nick Saban.

These fuckin guys walk in thinking they're cowboys and theyve never unholstered their revolver in their lives.

It's dangerous. And it wears thin. Literally every one of these MFers that think they got all the answers cuz they worked for a guy end up on the side of the road. All of them.

RE: Not wishing for it, but Daboll is headed for his first heart attack  
section125 : 11/30/2023 12:19 pm : link
In comment 16308600 Ivan15 said:
Quote:
And that is going to mellow him out.


You do know that people that "vent" have lower risk.....
Sounds like these guys might be letting their imaginations run wild  
ghost718 : 11/30/2023 12:20 pm : link
One says it's the Patriot Way, and the other goes "Don't even think about yelling or throwing your tablet,Stubby"

There's probably is a rift,but I'm not sure I'm buying these versions



RE: RE: Not wishing for it, but Daboll is headed for his first heart attack  
Blueworm : 11/30/2023 12:25 pm : link
In comment 16308670 section125 said:
Quote:
In comment 16308600 Ivan15 said:


Quote:


And that is going to mellow him out.



You do know that people that "vent" have lower risk.....


How about abdominal bodyfat as a heart attack risk?
I'm not into bodyshaming, but he is in a high-stress job, and I hope he is taking care of himself.
Expect  
gary_from_chester : 11/30/2023 12:41 pm : link
Lots of coaching changes next year. Defense has been underwhelming this year, change is probably needed here and their poor relationship will just seal the deal. I don’t think losing Wink will be a big deal; just finish out the season and be pros about it.
You know...  
Chris in Philly : 11/30/2023 12:53 pm : link
yelling at coaches and players who are not doing their jobs does not mean anyone is slavishly following the "Patriot Way". This whole thing is stupid. But once one talking head mentions it everyone has to get on the train...
Wether Wink likes to get yelled at or not, this is on Daboll  
BH28 : 11/30/2023 12:54 pm : link
Daboll needs to learn to effectively communicate with staff, and if he knows that yelling at a guy is going to make him turtle up, find a different, more effective approach.

If you want a coaching staff that you can yell at without getting pushback, find different coaches.

Good leaders find the right way to communicate with people and don't take a one size fits all approach.
RE: RE: RE: Not wishing for it, but Daboll is headed for his first heart attack  
section125 : 11/30/2023 1:11 pm : link
In comment 16308682 Blueworm said:
Quote:
In comment 16308670 section125 said:


Quote:


In comment 16308600 Ivan15 said:


Quote:


And that is going to mellow him out.



You do know that people that "vent" have lower risk.....



How about abdominal bodyfat as a heart attack risk?
I'm not into bodyshaming, but he is in a high-stress job, and I hope he is taking care of himself.


My post stands because that was what you were saying. Yes he is vastly overweight in a high stress job. Venting releases stress.
I do look at his build and "worry".
Dabbs does yell alot.  
Gfan in PA : 11/30/2023 1:12 pm : link
a bit too much for my liking. Maybe it is part of the sport, but yelling profanities at players, refs, and coaches does not seem like it fosters a positive professional environment. Not sure why its the Patriot way as Belichick (and Saban) seems pretty calm compairitively.

This is probably the one thing I do not like about Daboll. Hope it does not bite him in the ass.
RE: RE: Hope it's not true,  
HoodieGelo : 11/30/2023 1:24 pm : link
In comment 16308501 section125 said:
Quote:
In comment 16308488 HoodieGelo said:


Quote:


our defense is the only glimmer of hope we have...and that glimmer is small. Kafka is the one who should be getting shit on. It's amazing how ignorant people still are to data. We rank dead last in almost every offensive category and you're gonna get pissed at the D coordinator?

This offense couldn't score if their lives depended on it. When your defense is always on the field or playing like they can't give up even one score because they know the offense won't respond, they're gonna get tired and screwed up mentally. It's a miracle they're ranked 26th in defense PPG.

If I had to fire anybody Wink would be last on that list.



Did you not read above how bad the Giants defense ranks? I agree on Kafka. Been sour on his play calling since last year. But that is a different kettle of fish. Wink was given the largest booty of players and it is just as bad as last year. You would expect that getting A'Shawn and Nacho would clearly help the run defense...it hasn't. Even with Okereke and McFadden playing out of their minds they can't stop teams like the Patriots from running. Something is rotten in Denmark...


No I agree, I guess my anger is more towards the lack of action against Kafka. I'm not saying Wink is the answer, but hearing reports like this make you feel like Kafka is flying under the radar and that's what frustrates me.
RE: Been around long enough to know:  
Dinger : 11/30/2023 1:26 pm : link
In comment 16308384 section125 said:
Quote:
1) Glazer is rarely wrong
2) Where there is smoke there is fire
3) Daboll is a bit of a hot head
4) Wink is old enough to not need that shit
5) Defense took over 6 weeks to play a decent game but was the recipient of most of the off season upgrades
6) Offense is worst I have seen in long time

I would bet Wink leaves in the off season.

Rift may have been quashed by beats out of respect, but once Glazer opened that bottle the heresay leaks start.

I really like Wink, but that slow start is not forgiveable and the Jets loss allowing points with 28 seconds and half the field to move was bad defensive play calling. A'Shawn and Nacho were huge upgrades at DT and run defense should have vastly improved. It did not. That is a big failure in my view.

Agree with you point for point here. I liked the Wink Defense beacause it blitzed and applied pressure as opposed to Grahams bend but dont break. Thing I don't like is in 6 games Winks defense has looked like shite against the Eagles and Cowboys, where it really matters.
RE: RE: Why is this so hard to believe for some people  
Essex : 11/30/2023 1:36 pm : link
In comment 16308646 UConn4523 said:
Quote:
In comment 16308474 JoeyBigBlue said:


Quote:


Glazer is very tied into the Giants organization and has been a reputable source for years. Plus a ton of best writers are coming out with the same speculation. Daboll also has a history of not having strained relationships. It’s not hard to connect the dots.



It isn’t. Doesn’t make his take on things gospel though. And what’s being reported anyway, that Wino may not be here next year? I think that was obvious after the horrific start, same for Kafka. And I think that’s my point, the reports seem to be embellishing what’s already fairly obvious. Making it seem like Wink is about to fight Daboll is unnecessary.

why is it unnecessary. If that is the truth report it. Plus, Glazer's best friend is Strahan who definitely is still dialed into the org. In addition, I know people love to get on the you are overblowing it bandwagon, but anyone who thought that was a normal interaction between Wink and Daboll in Dallas is either niave or ignorant. Not only did he seem to be in Wink's face before halftime, he started in before the second half. If you could not get your business done in the locker room then I think it is pretty obvious there is some friction.
re: Belichick’s schtick..  
morrison40 : 11/30/2023 3:10 pm : link
Not working since Brady left
I agree with Wink  
JerseyCityJoe : 11/30/2023 3:11 pm : link
Wink has been around enough to warrant a certain respect. If you don't like his work fire him. You don't yell at him.
If the report is true  
moespree : 11/30/2023 3:27 pm : link
I really can't blame Wink.

Daboll is billed as some offensive and QB genius and frankly his offense sucks. And wasn't some amazing thing last season either.

I think I'd get a little pissed off too if I had decades of experience and I'm getting dressed down by someone who knows about 100 times less than me about defense. And the supposed thing he does know isn't even any good either.
Keep in mind that this is only Daboll's second year  
lawguy9801 : 11/30/2023 3:35 pm : link
and he has, rightfully, been under a lot of pressure this year.

As would be the case with any other endeavor, he is probably still growing into the position and by, say, his seventh or eighth year, would probably have learned and acted differently towards Wink.
IMO, things would have to be pretty awful between them  
BigBlueNH : 11/30/2023 3:51 pm : link
for either to want to move on. If Wink steps away, I doubt there's another DC position just waiting for him, so he'd have to take a step down.

From Dabol's perspective, the D has played well, especially lately, and the players love Wink. It is young and should be better with another draft class. A new DC brings risk.

If there is a parting of ways, then we'll know these reports are not exaggerated. Because otherwise a split makes no sense. Hope it doesn't happen.
within reason  
djm : 11/30/2023 3:58 pm : link
the offense should not have very much to do with the defense's performance this season. If Wink went there after Daboll called out the D, that's a problem in my view. WTF does the offense have to do with getting torched on D?

The steelers make the playoffs or at least compete with an absolutely brutal offense. You don't hear their DC crying about offense.

How this season finishes  
Dave on the UWS : 11/30/2023 4:24 pm : link
will have a lot to do with whether or not these two can continue to work together.
RE: If the report is true  
section125 : 11/30/2023 4:32 pm : link
In comment 16308938 moespree said:
Quote:
I really can't blame Wink.

Daboll is billed as some offensive and QB genius and frankly his offense sucks. And wasn't some amazing thing last season either.

I think I'd get a little pissed off too if I had decades of experience and I'm getting dressed down by someone who knows about 100 times less than me about defense. And the supposed thing he does know isn't even any good either.


I seriously doubt Wink knows 100x more about defense than Daboll. If Daboll didn't know defenses and how they work, how could he operate an offense to attack a defense. Winks specialty is defense and Daboll offense. But both need to know how the other works or else they get their butts handed to them. Daboll isn't some Johnny come lately. He's been a coach for 25 years with a lot of time with some excellent HCs, OCs and DCs.
There is a reason Wink hasn't been a HC, yet. A lot of great DCs never got to be HC.
RE: IMO, things would have to be pretty awful between them  
Essex : 11/30/2023 4:35 pm : link
In comment 16308974 BigBlueNH said:
Quote:
for either to want to move on. If Wink steps away, I doubt there's another DC position just waiting for him, so he'd have to take a step down.

From Dabol's perspective, the D has played well, especially lately, and the players love Wink. It is young and should be better with another draft class. A new DC brings risk.

If there is a parting of ways, then we'll know these reports are not exaggerated. Because otherwise a split makes no sense. Hope it doesn't happen.


why would you doubt that. There will probably be anywhere from 6-8 defensive coordinator openings--why wouldn't Martindale get one? I think he would be at the top of the list
RE: This really sucks.  
Optimus-NY : 11/30/2023 4:43 pm : link
In comment 16308388 mittenedman said:
Quote:
If Daboll is too much of a pain in the ass to get along with quality coaches like Wink Martindale, you've got to wonder if we've got the right guy. IMO he's the best coach we've got in the building.

Belichick and Saban's schtick is often imitated but never duplicated. They are all time greats, that's why they get away with it.

Martindale's from the old school, and doesn't put on airs - despite the composed demeanor. The Buddy Ryan school that got Gilbride punched in the face. Daboll giving Wink shit while his offense is historically and unexplainably bad likely caused this, and it sucks.

Wink's got a very specific scheme and they've spent the last 2 years giving him heavy input into what types of players he needs. And now this?

I'm looking for evidence that Daboll's the right guy and I desperately want to believe, but it's tough.


+1
RE: RE: Anak  
Optimus-NY : 11/30/2023 5:01 pm : link
In comment 16308538 Anakim said:
Quote:
In comment 16308507 Sean said:


Quote:


That looks to be more on Wink than Daboll. I read that as Wink thinking he's above it. Didn't Parcells regularly chew out Belichick? Comes with the role.

I think the offense being so bad is probably more of the issue.



That's true. I'm sure Jim Johnson, Dick LeBeau and Monte Kiffin were chewed out way into their senior years, but the whole "Patriots Way" thing is just weird to me.


Those three gentlemen deserve respect when spoken to. Even if there's beef, they've earned their stripes. Wink does too. Dabes has some growing up to do.
RE: Keep in mind that this is only Daboll's second year  
Optimus-NY : 11/30/2023 5:03 pm : link
In comment 16308954 lawguy9801 said:
Quote:
and he has, rightfully, been under a lot of pressure this year.

As would be the case with any other endeavor, he is probably still growing into the position and by, say, his seventh or eighth year, would probably have learned and acted differently towards Wink.


+1
it sounds like  
BigBlueCane : 11/30/2023 5:08 pm : link
Wink will be gone after this year and Daboll will likely be gone the year after that b/c he's embracing and spouting off a failed ideology in 'The Patriots way'.
The "Patriots Way" is dunzo  
Blue Dream : 11/30/2023 6:13 pm : link
McDaniels, Belichick gone after this year. Daboll bought himself time with last year but not much if he doesn't change his ways and things don't improve next year.
At least we now know why Kafka stays up in the booth.  
Spider56 : 11/30/2023 6:26 pm : link
RE: RE: RE: Why is this so hard to believe for some people  
UConn4523 : 11/30/2023 6:32 pm : link
In comment 16308778 Essex said:
Quote:
In comment 16308646 UConn4523 said:


Quote:


In comment 16308474 JoeyBigBlue said:


Quote:


Glazer is very tied into the Giants organization and has been a reputable source for years. Plus a ton of best writers are coming out with the same speculation. Daboll also has a history of not having strained relationships. It’s not hard to connect the dots.



It isn’t. Doesn’t make his take on things gospel though. And what’s being reported anyway, that Wino may not be here next year? I think that was obvious after the horrific start, same for Kafka. And I think that’s my point, the reports seem to be embellishing what’s already fairly obvious. Making it seem like Wink is about to fight Daboll is unnecessary.


why is it unnecessary. If that is the truth report it. Plus, Glazer's best friend is Strahan who definitely is still dialed into the org. In addition, I know people love to get on the you are overblowing it bandwagon, but anyone who thought that was a normal interaction between Wink and Daboll in Dallas is either niave or ignorant. Not only did he seem to be in Wink's face before halftime, he started in before the second half. If you could not get your business done in the locker room then I think it is pretty obvious there is some friction.


Because I’m under the impression it isn’t the truth, hence my comment. Never did I say don’t report the truth.
Om sure Parcells and Coughlin were pussycats  
Simms11 : 11/30/2023 6:38 pm : link
with their staff too! 😆
RE: RE: RE: RE: Why is this so hard to believe for some people  
Essex : 11/30/2023 7:59 pm : link
In comment 16309120 UConn4523 said:
Quote:
In comment 16308778 Essex said:


Quote:


In comment 16308646 UConn4523 said:


Quote:


In comment 16308474 JoeyBigBlue said:


Quote:


Glazer is very tied into the Giants organization and has been a reputable source for years. Plus a ton of best writers are coming out with the same speculation. Daboll also has a history of not having strained relationships. It’s not hard to connect the dots.



It isn’t. Doesn’t make his take on things gospel though. And what’s being reported anyway, that Wino may not be here next year? I think that was obvious after the horrific start, same for Kafka. And I think that’s my point, the reports seem to be embellishing what’s already fairly obvious. Making it seem like Wink is about to fight Daboll is unnecessary.


why is it unnecessary. If that is the truth report it. Plus, Glazer's best friend is Strahan who definitely is still dialed into the org. In addition, I know people love to get on the you are overblowing it bandwagon, but anyone who thought that was a normal interaction between Wink and Daboll in Dallas is either niave or ignorant. Not only did he seem to be in Wink's face before halftime, he started in before the second half. If you could not get your business done in the locker room then I think it is pretty obvious there is some friction.



Because I’m under the impression it isn’t the truth, hence my comment. Never did I say don’t report the truth.


I mean what would make you think it’s not the truth though?

Plenty of reasons  
UConn4523 : 11/30/2023 8:08 pm : link
Wink would be gone already and he’s not
Players turning on him and they haven’t
Players leaking something like they usually do, and haven’t

Coaches arguing after a 2-8 start is expected. These “random text messages” make it sounds like something horrific happened. It’s dumb.
One of the beats  
HBart : 11/30/2023 8:37 pm : link
Speculated that Mara would step in to mediate differences if needed. That wouldn't be the first time Mara had a how to win friends and inflience people conversation with the HC.
Well, the defense has led them to two wins so  
Ten Ton Hammer : 11/30/2023 8:58 pm : link
It can't be that bad.
I think what is really missing here is timing...  
DefenseWins : 11/30/2023 9:07 pm : link
We ASSUME that any issues Daboll has had with Wink occurred when Glazer reported the problem. However, it could be OLD NEWS and the issues could have happened when our defense was getting torched in the beginning of the year.

Let's face it, we gave up more than 30 points per game through the first 5 games. Wink SHOULD be getting drilled by Dabs at that point.

Here is how I think it all went down.

1. our defense looked like complete shit and Dabs got all over him.
2. the defense looked A LOT better over the past couple of weeks.
3. In the midst of that, Glazer heard about how Wink and Dabs were dealing with a strained relationship but he found out a few weeks late
4. Our defense played great the past two games and Dabs gave wink the game ball from the heart because he knows the defense was pivotal in the two wins wit DeVito at QB. I do not think he did it to squash the stories about their rift. I think the game ball was an authentic gesture.
RE: I think what is really missing here is timing...  
HBart : 12/1/2023 9:03 am : link
In comment 16309235 DefenseWins said:
Quote:
We ASSUME that any issues Daboll has had with Wink occurred when Glazer reported the problem. However, it could be OLD NEWS and the issues could have happened when our defense was getting torched in the beginning of the year.

Let's face it, we gave up more than 30 points per game through the first 5 games. Wink SHOULD be getting drilled by Dabs at that point.

Here is how I think it all went down.

1. our defense looked like complete shit and Dabs got all over him.
2. the defense looked A LOT better over the past couple of weeks.
3. In the midst of that, Glazer heard about how Wink and Dabs were dealing with a strained relationship but he found out a few weeks late
4. Our defense played great the past two games and Dabs gave wink the game ball from the heart because he knows the defense was pivotal in the two wins wit DeVito at QB. I do not think he did it to squash the stories about their rift. I think the game ball was an authentic gesture.

I agree with that too.

How the F could their relationship not be strained? The O has been abysmal all season while the D, outside of a few breakdowns and slow start, carried the team. The defense leads the NFL in 3 and outs. Why? They're playing pretty well, but mainly cause they're on the field so much.

Remember the last coach who "wasn't the easiest guy to play for" (Bill Parcells quote about Tom Couhlin)? Mara nearly fired him for that after 3 seasons (making the playoffs twice). Coughlin said and then did the right things and the rest is history.

I don't think anyone wants Wink gone except maybe Wink, who is obviously the final word. One more storyline to finish the season with.
I was taught in the military to praise in public  
kelly : 12/2/2023 6:38 pm : link
And discipline in private.

If Daboll has an issue with Winks performance it should be addressed in private and in a professional manner.

If it is not being handled that way then I can understand Wink not being happy. Wink had paid his dues and should be treated with respect.
Have some of you guys…  
Chris in Philly : 12/2/2023 6:42 pm : link
ever seen a football game before? Jesus this is beyond silly.
that management style  
bc4life : 12/2/2023 7:14 pm : link
has a short shelf life. times have changed. you want to dog cuss someone. It'd better be worth it and do it person to person with no one around.
and what kelly said  
bc4life : 12/2/2023 7:15 pm : link
these are leadership lessons
RE: Been around long enough to know:  
JoeSchoens11 : 12/2/2023 10:17 pm : link
In comment 16308384 section125 said:
Quote:
1) Glazer is rarely wrong
2) Where there is smoke there is fire
3) Daboll is a bit of a hot head
4) Wink is old enough to not need that shit
5) Defense took over 6 weeks to play a decent game but was the recipient of most of the off season upgrades
6) Offense is worst I have seen in long time

I would bet Wink leaves in the off season.

Rift may have been quashed by beats out of respect, but once Glazer opened that bottle the heresay leaks start.

I really like Wink, but that slow start is not forgiveable and the Jets loss allowing points with 28 seconds and half the field to move was bad defensive play calling. A'Shawn and Nacho were huge upgrades at DT and run defense should have vastly improved. It did not. That is a big failure in my view.
All points but #5 are very reasonable. I think we divvied up resources fairly evenly between adding offense and defense.

Okereke vs Waller
Nacho vs Campbell
Banks vs JMS and Hyatt

That really only leaves Robinson as a defensive improvement without a similar offensive equivalent. It only seems one-sided because Wink was able to get his FAs to perform while their offensive counterparts have underachieved.

Not really a part of the discussion but the Barkley tag and DJ contract (AT and Dexy cancel out) means we spent way more resources in the offseason on the offensive side of the ball.

I’ll also say that the D wasn’t any worse than the O in those 1st 6 weeks. I don’t think BD had a functional training camp plan.
RE: I'm not sure why...  
Matt M. : 12/3/2023 12:58 am : link
In comment 16308594 Chris in Philly said:
Quote:
thinking this is ridiculous means we are doubting Lord Glazer. I for one don't doubt people don't like to be yelled at. But who the fuck is Wink Martindale to pull the "I'm such hot shit you can't yell at me" card?
Thank you! I was thinking the same. To be honest, I am over Wink's D. They feast on shitty offenses and get rolled by decent teams.

If you can't deal with being yelled at in football, it's not for you.
RE: how has Daboll adopted the Patriots way?  
bradshaw44 : 12/3/2023 1:05 pm : link
In comment 16308298 KDavies said:
Quote:
losing when you don't have Tom Brady?


Hahahaha love it
feast on shitty offenses  
bc4life : 12/4/2023 4:16 pm : link
like the Bills?
RE: I was taught in the military to praise in public  
Thegratefulhead : 12/6/2023 2:53 pm : link
In comment 16311255 kelly said:
Quote:
And discipline in private.

If Daboll has an issue with Winks performance it should be addressed in private and in a professional manner.

If it is not being handled that way then I can understand Wink not being happy. Wink had paid his dues and should be treated with respect.
It really is that simple. How does screaming at anyone make them better. Belichick and Saban are not great because they scream at people. The screaming is product of the power delta. Those men won so much, they can do what they want. No one hears you better when you embarrass them in front of their peers. They begin to hate you though.
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