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NFT: College dilemma for the middle class

Jim in Forest Hills : 2/27/2024 9:22 am
So the older of my two daughters is a senior in HS. She has worked hard and done well in HS and on her SATs. Younger sister is 2 years behind so both will be in college for 2 years minimum.

First off, it feels like this almost doesn't matter, the acceptance rates are so ridiculously low. Her top 4 choices are IVY level - 5 - 8% acceptance level. You can be a top student and still be shut out. These are all reach schools for her.

Her target schools range from places like Michigan (mom is alum), Lehigh, GW - she has a fair shot at these places (I hope).

She has already been accepted to SUNYs Bing and Stony Brook.

She wants to work in govt, on the political side, possibly starting in law (Poli Sci major, possibly double major in Math). Her first choice is Georgetown due to its proximity to DC.

Without sharing what I earn in a year, its enough that I won't get any kind of need based aid but then footing the bill for $85k/year would be fiscally irresponsible. Multiply that by two kids, impossible. Plus they removed the calculation which accounts for two kids in college, why?

We have been contributing to 529s since birth which could cover all 4 years of Suny if thats the route she chooses. Nothing wrong with SUNY but tough to tell a self motivated kid, all your work has led here, she wants the highest office (Senator, Judge, Congress)

I know undergrad isn't as important as grad school, I'm just super frustrated at the incredible costs families are being tasked to pay for higher education. I would have been better off quitting work for a few years and getting need based aid. How are folks doing this?

Do I have my kids take out loans that they will have for 30 years? My goal has been to get them out of college debt free but dont know if thats possible. What a world we've created. /endrant.
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Degrees have become massively devalued  
mac attack : 2/27/2024 2:59 pm : link
And the cost associated with them are absurd. Take the SUNY route and hope to transfer after 2 years, when maybe a scholarship could be in play. Avoid loans any way possible.
A few thoughts from a career teacher...  
CT Charlie : 2/27/2024 3:35 pm : link
1) Are you sure you won't qualify for any financial aid? You might be surprised.

2) The decision may come down to values. As a career private school teacher, with a wife who taught elementary school, we had very little income, and yet qualified for surprisingly little aid. (Because of our children's choice of school and major.) Basically it meant that in retirement we would have very little money. For us, it was all about sacrificing everything for our children to have the best education possible. But that's because we're teachers and value education above almost everything else.

3) With every fiber of my being, I recommend that your children take a gap year between HS and college. Divide the 15-month stretch from June to the following September into three 5-month terms or five 3-month terms, and plan a mix of jobs, internships, volunteer work and self-education or low-budget travel. Regardless of what they choose to study in college, they'll entering it knowing more about themselves, the world, and perhaps even what they want to get out of their education and beyond, than they would if they just take a summer job, hang out with their friends, and begin classes a few months after their HS graduation.
I feel your pain.  
Rick5 : 2/27/2024 3:39 pm : link
I have two in college right now. I am in Virginia, so at least we have William and Mary, VT, and UVA in state (all great schools). Personally, I would go the suny route rather than the debt. Plenty of great suny schools, we you tie in grad school, high undergrad debt could be a real burden.
RE: I'm going to throw this out there.  
Matt M. : 2/27/2024 3:41 pm : link
In comment 16409592 Bubba said:
Quote:
Military service? We paid to send both my sons to private school abt 20 years ago. My youngest enlisted in the Army at the end of his freshman year. He currently serves in the National Guard 16 years in so far. Frankly he is a better man for his service. Bottom line they picked up the tab for the balance of his college career. If she is interested in politics a stint in the Navy for example couldn't hurt and will pay the bulk of the tuition.
I wanted my son to consider an academy. He said it wasn't for him. My middle is thinking about the Coast Guard Academy, as his HS is building ties with them. He's in a really interesting CTE HS on Governor's Island.
Thanks all, good perspective from many  
Jim in Forest Hills : 2/27/2024 3:42 pm : link
We had a free session with a college financial planner who told us outright, you will only get merit aid but we will do our due diligence, see where she gets accepted and negotiate for aid.

We have never thought of the military option before, I will ask her to research it with her school counselor. My background just values education so highly its tough to break the stereotype but these are trying times.
Couple thoughts  
bc4life : 2/27/2024 4:34 pm : link
If she is considering Georgetown due to its' proximity to DC, I am assuming that is due to her political aspirations. Another way to look at it would be - going to school in the state in which she wants to be in politics. That would allow her a lot of opportunities to make connections, internships.
Two directions she may consider - any and all government, political work - or specialize in one or a few policy areas. The wonks do a lot of the real work.

RE: undergrad work, you can add value to the 4 year degree with specialized skills (e.g., GIS proficiency) and as I stated earlier - internships.

My granddaughter went an HBCU, and she interned in Congress. They all told her law school or a masters were necessary to go further. She's in UVa Law School now.

RE: loans - there are many opportunities for getting tuition reimbursed depending on what sector you're in. Govt. work has some opportunities.

Don't underestimate SUNYs. But, I would be lying if I said that the name on the diploma doesn't matter. Four years can be cut down through summer school and I am assuming she has taken some AP courses.
If Ivy is even possible  
Shirk130 : 2/27/2024 4:42 pm : link
then a place like GW would probably offer a scholarship. My daughter is there now and it's not for the whole cost but it's enough that we can do it. She also wants Law School so I imagine I will be taking loans for some of that and I'm ok with it.
Very Tough Call  
varco : 2/27/2024 9:33 pm : link
At 18 years old, most children don't have a clue about the real world, let alone what they would like to "major" or "minor" in or as an occupation for the rest of their lives. I like the suggestion of a "gap" year but also I would favor having a real "heart to heart" talk with children, laying out for them what the true prospects are, economically, in their desired "major".

I would recommend getting a good general foundation for 2 years before deciding on a concentrated course of study. Top Schools or Ivies? Unless they seriously plan on a course of studies with documented demand and high potential earnings, I would not recommend. Simply not a good investment and a better option would be a state school. $85,000 per year for the prestige of a top school is a steep price to pay.

Our years of paying college tuitions were 1997-2005 - that's a long time ago, when average tuitions were in the $20,000 - $30,000 range. How did we do it? Lucky to have an affordable house we bought in the pre-inflation mid-1970's, saved like crazy, spent like misers and basically had 2 incomes - lived on mine, spent my wife's on tuition.

I really feel for today's parents - don't know how they do it.
RE: We've had the same convos and our son is just shy of 5  
islander1 : 2/28/2024 12:43 pm : link
In comment 16409125 JonC said:
Quote:
There will be plenty for a state college education, and a start on a home, car, etc. But, if the pricetag is well above that level, he'll probably have to pitch in with student loans.


My son is a high school junior, and my wife and I both agree that he SHOULD have some college debt. Not most of it, but I saw so many kids on free rides not take it seriously. The people I saw take college the most seriously? The ones who both worked and paid their own way.

Our goal is to leave him with no more than 20k of college debt (undergrad). He needs to have some skin in the game.
RE: RE: We've had the same convos and our son is just shy of 5  
JonC : 2/28/2024 12:58 pm : link
In comment 16410591 islander1 said:
Quote:
In comment 16409125 JonC said:


Quote:


There will be plenty for a state college education, and a start on a home, car, etc. But, if the pricetag is well above that level, he'll probably have to pitch in with student loans.



My son is a high school junior, and my wife and I both agree that he SHOULD have some college debt. Not most of it, but I saw so many kids on free rides not take it seriously. The people I saw take college the most seriously? The ones who both worked and paid their own way.

Our goal is to leave him with no more than 20k of college debt (undergrad). He needs to have some skin in the game.


100%, he will need to have skin in the game. Before he was born we started stuffing his college fund, and since he could walk he's been putting dollars and coins into his bank, and hasn't asked to spend a penny yet. I put myself through SUNY working in 100 degree warehouses, nights at IBM, pumped gas, laundromat, you name it. He will contribute, no better way to find understanding, lol.
Hakeem Jeffries is a SUNY Bing Alum... so there's that...  
x meadowlander : 2/28/2024 1:15 pm : link
My family's goal is all degrees paid in full, no student loans.

So far, oldest graduated and is doing well (Full Stack Developer)

Middle Daughter will graduate with a Masters in Stats in May.

Youngest will have his Bachelors in Math next year.

Also, my wife is working on her MSW.

ALL Binghamton U, Not a fekkin DIME in student loans. (Being a local helps. No housing costs)

We simply never saw the value of setting a kid back a decade in student loans for a fancier Degree.
First  
AnnapolisMike : 2/28/2024 1:52 pm : link
If you are not getting assistance from a private university you are not "middle class". Most schools have tuition assistance calculators which are very accurate to use as a guide for financial assistance prior to any merit money. I've never really understood the rationale for paying out of state tuition at public schools. With rare exceptions you are better off attending undergrad at a public school in your state.

My oldest was a very good student with a hiccup year in high school which meant little assistance. He had enough AP credits to need one year of community college and transferred to Maryland to complete undergrad and is now being paid to attend GA Tech as a Graduate Fellow. As soon as he was at GA Tech his undergrad institution no longer mattered. The final school is the one that matters.

My youngest was top 10 student in HS with leadership and extracurriculars. Went early decision at a top private school and got in. Between merit and financial assistance it made sense even with some loans.

The bottom line is that unless yor kid gets into a ND, Stanford, Vanderbilt, Michigan or Ivy school they are better off with not acquiring debt and should go in state.

As a side note my daughter is doing a semester in Australia at the University of New South Wales. 60,000 students and most are from the Sydney area and commute. About 15% live on campus. Kids in Australia attend their local universities.



Given her expected major  
igotyourbackman : 2/29/2024 9:16 am : link
Why not SUNY-Albany as its in the capitol, and one of if not the best SUNY schools (at least it was when my wife attended). Seems like a legit compromise.
But yes, I'd avoid any debt. My kids will both be in SC state schools next year and we are in-state so its a bargain compared to other so called higher learning institutions.
the value proposition of college has really flipped in the past 20 yrs  
Heisenberg : 2/29/2024 9:43 am : link
IMO.

The push for "everyone should go to college" seemed like a great idea but then when "everyone" did, college became more expensive, we subsidized student debt and degrees became more of a commodity. If you just have a degree and debt, you're hamstrung. There's a reason why younger folks have trouble getting started these days and why student debt is such a big topic.

I told my kids that they need to a) get a degree that is a step to skills you will be paid for, otherwise, don't do it. And b) they go to the most cost effective institution for their major. My daughter got into more expensive schools but is happy at UConn where we get free tuition (wife works for Uconn). She will graduate with a masters in a year, be ready to work and will have only the federal guaranteed loans. My son is at URI studying where we get instate rates and we should be able to get him through with the same minimal loans. They both got into more expensive places with ostensibly higher academic profiles and we took the more cost effective option.

So my approach and my advice is to be highly skeptical of the marginal increase of value of a private school over the value of a much cheaper instate option. IMO, the risk of the excess debt not being worth it is really high.

I went to RPI in the 80s for engineering and would never pay the sticker price today. I'd go to UConn.
Biggest failure in college payment discussions  
bc4life : 2/29/2024 10:48 am : link
Too much talk about free college, talk about loan forgiveness and almost no discussion about reconsidering 4 year, 120 credit, 30 electives degree model.

I suspect a 1st Class education can be done in 3 years and between 85-100 credit hours. Using AP courses and summer school, internship credits - could be cut down to 2.5
RE: Biggest failure in college payment discussions  
Matt M. : 2/29/2024 3:50 pm : link
In comment 16411445 bc4life said:
Quote:
Too much talk about free college, talk about loan forgiveness and almost no discussion about reconsidering 4 year, 120 credit, 30 electives degree model.

I suspect a 1st Class education can be done in 3 years and between 85-100 credit hours. Using AP courses and summer school, internship credits - could be cut down to 2.5
Agreed. My son is a sophomore and talking about possibly graduating next year. He has used his AP credits successfully, and already taken a little extra. It's within reach and if not, January graduation as a Senior will be it.

I have very mixed emotions in this thread. We are thrilled with the path he is on, but demoralized at the same time. Demoralized that a kid in the top 1% of the country, literally, got no love from most schools (Ivy, top tier, tier 2, legacy), no aid, etc. We are firmly middle class, struggling to stay afloat right now, yet FAFSA spits out an unrealistic family obligation of over $20K per year, and considers loans as the only viable financial aid. The reality is we recognize we have done a shitty job, had a 529 that only covered part of year 1, can't pay for a state school and our son, who is a genius and we believe destined for big things, will graduate with almost all 4 years in debt. That leaves a bleak outlook for our next two. This thread has me feeling like a complete failure and has me depressed, yet I am still oddly drawn to it.
I will add, that while I wouldn't go so far as to say college is  
Matt M. : 2/29/2024 3:54 pm : link
a right, I do think more needs to be done to make it realistically accessible to kids and families. The cost of college, even public ones, has skyrocketed so far, it is insane. And even if a 4 year degree doesn't carry the same weight it did, it is still needed for the post graduate degrees. It is still a necessity for many lines of work, yet it creates an insurmountable hurdle for so many at the same time.
Matt M - shitty job?  
bc4life : 2/29/2024 4:17 pm : link
Nah, industry needs a serious reboot.

It is not customer oriented
RE: RE: This is why I’m happy my son wants to be a mechanic  
Greg from LI : 2/29/2024 4:44 pm : link
In comment 16409306 Dnew15 said:
Quote:
As an admin in a high school I see so many kids make the decision to go to a traditional 4 year college and it is just not the right choice for them.


This is exactly it for my son. He's a smart kid - his best grades have been in his advanced classes, history and science - but he's just not a bookish sort. He likes working with his hands. He's got a knack for figuring out mechanical problems. It's been him, not me, who has fixed our riding mower, for example. Me, I get frustrated and throw up my hands with this stuff, but he doggedly keeps trying different things till he figures it out.

College just doesn't make sense for him, at least at this stage. It would be a waste of time and money.
RE: RE: RE: This is why I’m happy my son wants to be a mechanic  
Matt M. : 2/29/2024 6:27 pm : link
In comment 16412078 Greg from LI said:
Quote:
In comment 16409306 Dnew15 said:


Quote:


As an admin in a high school I see so many kids make the decision to go to a traditional 4 year college and it is just not the right choice for them.



This is exactly it for my son. He's a smart kid - his best grades have been in his advanced classes, history and science - but he's just not a bookish sort. He likes working with his hands. He's got a knack for figuring out mechanical problems. It's been him, not me, who has fixed our riding mower, for example. Me, I get frustrated and throw up my hands with this stuff, but he doggedly keeps trying different things till he figures it out.

College just doesn't make sense for him, at least at this stage. It would be a waste of time and money.
That's where we think our middle son is headed. If you don't mind me asking, what do you or he think is his path? Or, too early to tell?
RE: Matt M - shitty job?  
Matt M. : 2/29/2024 6:31 pm : link
In comment 16412011 bc4life said:
Quote:
Nah, industry needs a serious reboot.

It is not customer oriented
It doesn't feel that way. I see so many people here with at least school taken care of one way or another. My boy's in a public university and still behind a huge 8 ball. We naively were expecting multiple scholarship offers for him. Instead, he got shut out just about everywhere, including Syracuse, which supposed to be a safety school with him as a legacy. His self esteem and confidence were shattered during that process.

Thank G-d for Binghamton!
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